Wondering how to stand up to a rude boss? One strategy may surprise you. A study from Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business found employees feel less like victims if they return the hostility directed at them.
Researchers found employees who ignored their bosses or pretended like they didn’t know what the bosses were talking about reported they felt less psychological stress and higher job satisfaction. Hostile bosses can be difficult to work with, especially if they routinely belittle or even but pushing back can make people feel more empowered, and researchers said admiration and respect of coworkers may also contribute to employees’ higher feelings of self-worth.
A follow-up study designed to determine whether pushing back against hostile bosses hurt employees' careers found—to researchers’ surprise—employees didn’t believe standing up for themselves did any damage. (Note: Sometimes the hostility can cross a legal boundary. If you suspect you're a victim of bullying at the hands of your employer, you need to know your rights.)
If you have a hostile boss and are looking for ways to cope, here are some tips.
What to Do When Your Boss Disrespects You
1. Ignore the Hostility
One way to learn how to stand up to a rude boss is by, well, sitting down. Fully ignore their tantrums. The yelling, sarcastic type of toxic bosses tend to be like balloons full of hot air. Ignore them, and they will eventually run out of air and deflate.
2. Try Not to Take It Personally
Chances are, your boss’s hostility isn’t about you. That can be hard to remember in the heat of the moment, but keep in mind it’s about your boss and her responsibilities.
Detaching from a can be hard, but it’s effective. Remind yourself that you are not the first and you won't be the last person to have to deal with this person.
3. Be Strong
The schoolyard tactic of reacting strongly to bullying can help in the workplace, too. Standing your ground and showing strength discourages bullies. Use self-assured body language and maintain eye contact. Repeat their words back to them in a neutral or slightly curious tone of voice in effort to clarify and make sure you heard their words correctly.
4. Communicate Your Concerns
Express clearly how your boss’s jerk-like behavior is affecting you. Remind your boss that they can help you perform at your best when they treat you professionally and with respect.
You may also want to consider making an appointment to talk to your boss about why you’re being treated so poorly. Give them examples of how you want to be treated. For example, "Instead of calling me out for a mistake in front of the team, please pull me aside or email me and I'll correct my mistake immediately." If that’s not effective, document it all and go to human resources.
Leave the Hostility Behind
Learning how to stand up to a rude boss is unfortunately one of those tough lessons you should learn. But you always have options. You don't have to stay in a miserable job. Ready to leave but not sure how to take the first step? Make a free profile on Monster. We can send you job recommendations, put you in touch with recruiters, and give you more tips to speed up your search.
