There’s nothing quite like a good case of the hardship Olympics to really bring people together (and then break them back apart again). You might think that the single parenting community is just that: a united community, but like any other group, there can be division. So, what exactly qualifies as a single mum? Are you one, really?
What’s a single mum?
It’s just a mum that happens to be single, right? Not according to many. The term “single mum” can be a source of debate, as there is no universally agreed-upon definition. However, the core essence of a single mother is a woman who is the sole or primary caregiver for her child(ren), without the full-time involvement and support of a partner.
At the most basic level, a single mum is a woman who is not married or in a committed relationship with the father of her child(ren). This includes women who have never been married, are divorced, separated, or widowed.
What makes single mums different from co-parents or parents in couples?
The key distinction is that she is solely responsible for the day-to-day parenting and financial support of her family, without the consistent involvement of a co-parent. The definition becomes more nuanced when considering factors like custody arrangements and financial support. Some argue that a woman only qualifies as a single mum if she has sole or primary custody, and receives little to no financial or caregiving support from the child’s other parent. Meanwhile, others take a more inclusive view, stating that a woman can still be considered a single mother even if she shares custody or receives some level of support, as long as she is the primary or equal caregiver and decision-maker for her child(ren).
How many single parents are there in the UK?
Single mum vs co-parent
Does it actually matter? To some. Many solo mums or primary caregivers who receive little or no financial support from their child’s other parent resent being grouped together with co-parents who may have 50/50 custody arrangements or receive regular financial contributions.
However, I would say this: If you are the only person at home providing for and caring for your children, making decisions, responsible for their safety, day in, day out, whether full or part time, you are a single parent. This flows both ways. In my view, the single parent who has their child every other weekend, shirks child maintenance payments and cancels at the slightest inconvenience is also a single parent. Just arguably not a great one.
Being a single mum, dad, caregiver, parent, isn’t about the label you attach to yourself. If you parent alone, whether full or part time, you are a part of the single parent community. If you prefer to identify as a sole mother, solo parent or co-parent, that’s up to you. There are big differences between being a single mother that co-parents and a solo mother, but they are not all benefits or disadvantages, just nuances. Many co-parents would give anything to spend more time with their children, many solo parents would give anything for a night off.
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One set of single parenting circ*mstances isn’t inherently easier or more difficult than any other. Co-parents don’t always mean less stress (or, indeed, child maintenance). Solo parenthood doesn’t mean a simpler solution. Every single parent family is unique, just like the children within them.
Same sh*t, different title, Ammiright?
What support do single mothers get in the UK?
FAQs
At the most basic level, a single mum is a woman who is not married or in a committed relationship with the father of her child(ren). This includes women who have never been married, are divorced, separated, or widowed.
What qualifies as a single mom? ›
(15) The term “single parent” means an individual who— (A) is unmarried or legally separated from a spouse; and (B) (i) has 1 or more minor children for whom the individual has custody or joint custody; or (ii) is pregnant.
What defines a single mum? ›
(ˈsɪŋɡəl ˈmʌðə ) noun. a mother who has a dependent child or dependent children and who is widowed, divorced, or unmarried. Collins English Dictionary.
What is the difference between single mom and single parent? ›
A single parent could have referring to either a single father or single mother. Single mother refers specifically to single parents who are mothers.
How is it to be a single mother? ›
As a single parent, you have to fulfil the duties of a mom and dad. Juggling multiple responsibilities can be tough. Besides fulfilling all her professional responsibilities, a single mother also needs to take care of her children and provide them with all that they need, including her time.
How do you describe a single mom? ›
The term "single mother" can refer to women who are parenting alone following divorce or separation, as well as women who choose to have a child without the involvement of a partner. A single mother is a parent who raises their children without the presence, support, or responsibility of their spouse.
Are you a single mom if you coparent? ›
If both parents are actively and equally involved in the lives of the children, in practice, that person is not a single parent, instead, a co-parent. I encourage many persons who are single and have children, not to refer to themselves as single parents if both parents are active in the lives of the children.
Who can call themselves a single mom? ›
A single parent is a person who has a child or children but does not have a spouse or live-in partner to assist in the upbringing or support of the child.
Are you a single mom if you have a partner? ›
There is a distinction between solo parenting where there a partner in the picture at least part time is very different from single parenting (where there is no partner at all). But even those of us who do live, and coparent with a partner can have moments when it "feels like" being a solo parent.
What is the definition of a single mother household? ›
Definition. Single parent families are comprised of a parent/caregiver and one or more dependent children without the presence and support of a spouse or adult partner who is sharing the responsibility of parenting.
A single parent may be divorced or separated. They may be unmarried and no longer with their partner. Their spouse may be deceased. Or, they may have made the conscious decision to be a single parent.
What are the four types of single parents? ›
Single-parent families come in various forms, including divorced parents, widowed parents, non-married parents who split up, and parents who are single by choice.
What is lone parent or single mother? ›
Lone parenthood means that a mother or a father takes care of dependent children without a partner. The breaking up of nuclear families due to separation, divorce, or the death of one spouse, creates lone-parent families.
What qualifies someone as a single mom? ›
At the most basic level, a single mum is a woman who is not married or in a committed relationship with the father of her child(ren). This includes women who have never been married, are divorced, separated, or widowed.
How to explain single mother by choice? ›
A Single Mother by Choice is a woman who decides to have a child on her own. Becoming one is a significant and empowering decision. This comprehensive guide is designed to support and inform single women about every step of their journey towards solo motherhood.
What is a single mother by choice no father? ›
A single mother by choice (SMC) is a woman who chooses to have a child on her own. I've had long-term relationships, but none of them panned out, and because I knew my fertility was finite and love could come at any time, I made the decision to have a child on my own. I'm not alone in choosing to parent solo.
What qualifies one to be a mother? ›
Your nurturing and caring ways qualify you as a mother. Mothering is a special gift designed to help and comfort others who need your strength. Regardless of how we mother, we are all doing our best with the circ*mstances and strengths we have. Though there are no perfect mothers, there are many great ones.
How is a single parent defined? ›
: a parent who lives with a child or children and no husband, wife, or partner.
