The Eighth Wonder Of The World: Kong Ranked (2024)

Kaiju fans have been dying to see a rematch between Kong and Godzilla ever since their first bout, and the MonsterVerse eventually delivered. One of the first blockbusters to get a successful wide release during the pandemic, Godzilla vs. Kong is a technical achievement in every way. The titular monsters are brought to life with stunning definition, and director Adam Wingard (You're Next) crafts some of the best throwdowns of the whole series.

Alas, Godzilla vs. Kong suffers many of the same problems that plagued the other MonsterVerse movies. The character drama is insipid, and the plot is about on par with King Kong Escapes. A scheming billionaire wants to use King Kong as a homing beacon to find the Hollow Earth.

After the grounded tone and visceral intensity of 2014's Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Kong jumps the shark to pit its kaiju against each other. Thankfully the setpieces are all worth it, but it also makes me crave a fan edit of this movie that removes any spec of the human cast.

I'll be the first to admit that Kong and Godzilla's first round of fisticuffs is, let's say, less technically sophisticated than its 2021 revamp. But I can't deny the entertainment value of watching Kong shove a tree down Godzilla's throat. Maybe the film seems dismissively goofy by today's standards, but it was a monumental event that still retains significance. After a tumultuous production history that almost pitted Godzilla against Frankenstein's Monster, King Kong vs. Godzilla was a triumph with audiences, proving that monster mashes were here to stay. It was Kong's first film since his 1933 debut, the first time he and The Big G would be in color, and it was a landmark of cinematic crossovers.

The plot is simple but charming. A greedy television executive sends his men to capture the mythic King Kong while a slumbering Godzilla awakens from hibernation. The two of them meet and, wouldn't you know it, they don't get along too well. It's easy to take shots at the suitmation and wacky plot, but if you're down with all that, then King Kong vs. Godzilla is a fiercely entertaining movie that earns its cred as an absolute camp classic. The characters, while archetypes, are more amusing than your typical monster-movie fodder and add to the film's good humor and endearing innocence.

"No one cry when Jaws die. But when the monkey die, people gonna cry," promised mega-producer Dino De Laurentiis when he unveiled plans for his own remake of the original King Kong. The final product was 1976's King Kong, a politically charged, romantic, dare I say erotic, take on the Kong mythos that managed to make bank back in '76 but has alienated Kong fans ever since. It's been accused of being both boring and inappropriate, with the, uh, hornie*st King Kong to date.

But for some reason, my soft spot for this remake endures. While it suffers from a languid pace and a serious lack of monster action (apparently, Dino couldn't be bothered to put dinos in the movie), it's refreshingly more concerned with themes and relationships. With a cast of pros like Jeff Bridges (The Big Lebowski) and Jessica Lange (American Horror Story), that bet pays off. This story retelling centers on a tycoon going to Skull Island for potential oil reserves, perfectly updating the original story of documentarians venturing to the island for their film project. This Kong represents the dangers of corporate plundering of the environment. He's a force of nature threatened by our spiritual decline, from the energy crisis to rampant materialism, making this the most transgressive King Kong to date. Not to mention the Oscar-winning special effects by the legendary Rick Baker, who even got to play Kong himself.

The original King Kong isn't just one of the most legendary films ever made, it's a watershed accomplishment in film history. While we'd had giant monster flicks like The Lost World, all of that was an appetizer. King Kong perfected those special-effect techniques and used them to craft the ultimate adventure story, introducing audiences to one of the most beloved movie monsters of all time. King Kong still remains the Holy Bible of Practical FX and represents the pinnacle achievement of its era. It also gave audiences one of the quintessential scream queens in Fay Wray, who does as much to bring Kong and the monsters of Skull Island to life as the special effects team does.

This original movie might have lost its appeal to stop-motion skeptics, who probably prefer the more advanced FX of the later Kongs. To each their own, but there's probably not a simpler thrill than watching Kong fighting a stop-motion Tyrannosaurus Rex before snapping its jaw. Makes me cheer every time.

Unfortunately, the special effects weren't sophisticated enough to give Kong true pathos or expression. That's where our #1 entry comes in.

After coming off what many would consider the single greatest accomplishment in cinema with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Peter Jackson used his clout to finally produce his passion project: an epic remake of his favorite film, King Kong. To call this a love letter to the original wouldn't be doing it justice. This is a Shakespearean sonnet, a reimagining that brought the thrills and whimsy of the original Kong to a modern audience.

In truth, it built upon the original with a prestigious cast of thespians that flesh out the original film's archetypes into three-dimensional characters (aside from an unfortunately miscast Jack Black). The magic of Peter Jackson's King Kong isn't watching people run away from a stampede of brontosauruses, but watching Naomi Watts (Mulholland Drive) perform a whole vaudeville routine for an enthusiastic Kong, who's brought to life with motion capture performed by the irreplaceable Andy Serkis (The Batman). Did the movie need to be three hours? Probably not. But the complaints about the movie's runtime feel almost quaint in today's media landscape dominated by three-hour-plus movies like Beau is Afraid.

I was debating whether to put this over the original, but I just had to, because this one made me tear up. And if you're not getting emotional as you watch Andy Serkis' King Kong being shot down from atop the Empire State Building, then I just don't trust you.

The animated Skull Island series will be released exclusively on Netflix June 22.