How to Recover Financially After a Divorce? 7 Ways to Recover Fast (2024)

How to prepare yourself to deal with the financial realities of divorce – especially in this tough economy.

By Fadi Baradihi, MBA, CFP®, ChFC®, CLU, CDFA®

More often than not, the standard of living of both spouses drops in the first few years after divorce. Why? Because the same cumulative income and pool of assets now has to support two households instead of one. Unfortunately, most people don’t prepare themselves financially or emotionally for that consequence. So what can you do to better prepare yourself for this inevitability? The answer is simple, but it’s not easy to put into practice.

Divorce is an inherently stressful process. To alleviate some of the stress, it’s important to be proactive and in control. Here are the “Lucky Seven” things you can do to help prepare yourself for your post-divorce financial future.

1. Expect your income to drop after the divorce is final.

You should expect your income to drop after the divorce is final. Develop a budget based on needs– not wants – and keep in mind that your expenses need to stay within your post-divorce income. Consider all sources of income – including spousal and child support, keeping in mind that they won’t last forever – as well as investment income. To develop a budget, use a detailed worksheet so you don’t overlook any expenses. The best source for the expense information is your check register, if that’s how you pay your bills. Remember that not all your expenses are paid monthly; some insurance premiums or tax bills might be payable quarterly or annually, so make sure to account for those as well. (To help get you started, fill out the “Monthly/Annual Expenses” worksheet, which is available online at www.institutedfa.com.)

The last step in preparing a budget is to ask a reasonable and critical friend or family member to review your budget and challenge the expenses that seem unreasonable. You have to agree to keep an open mind and not to get mad if he/she challenges one of your items; remember that this person is trying to help you.

2. Consider whether you can afford to keep the house.

Here are the traditional options for the matrimonial home:

  1. One spouse stays in the house (with the children, if any) and buys the other spouse’s share by:
    • Cash-out refinance
    • Giving up another asset
    • Property settlement note
  2. The spouses sell the house during or after the divorce process and split the proceeds.

In many cases, one spouse – usually the wife – wants to keep the house. Though this might be emotionally satisfying, it usually makes little or no financial sense. The equity in the house is illiquid, meaning it won’t pay the bills.

In today’s housing market, sometimes the matrimonial home can’t be sold in a reasonable amount of time – or for a reasonable amount of money. Today, many couples own houses that neither spouse can afford to maintain on his/her own, and that they cannot sell for what they owe on their mortgage. If the house can only be sold at a loss, divorcing couples have a few options, such as:

  1. Renting the house to a third party – or having one ex-spouse stay in the home and pay rent to the other until the market improves
  2. "Birdnesting”: the ex-spouses retain joint ownership of the home, they also rent a small apartment nearby, and each one alternates living in the house with the kids and in the apartment on his/her own
  3. Agreeing to sell the home at a loss, share the loss, and move on with their lives
  4. Short-sale, foreclosure, or bankruptcy.

If your house is “underwater” – meaning that you owe more on their mortgage than your house is worth – here are a few questions your should ask yourselves before putting the house up for sale:

  1. Who is responsible for making up the difference between the sale price and the amount owed on the mortgage?
  2. If you don’t sell it, does the party not keeping the house get compensated?
  3. Where does that money for options (1) and (2) come from?

If one spouse wants – and can afford – to keep the house, that spouse should pre-qualify for a mortgage before the divorce is final. Sometimes, a divorcing couple will decide that one spouse is going to keep the house. They take the other spouse’s name off the deed – and then the spouse who wants to keep the house gets turned down for a mortgage because he/she doesn’t make enough money to qualify to refinance in his/her name alone. The spouse who is leaving the marital home ends up being on the hook for the debt, has no reciprocal asset, and can’t qualify for his/her own mortgage because he/she doesn’t make enough to support both mortgages.

To qualify for a mortgage, most conventional lenders use credit and debt to income ratios. Many use a credit score system to qualify applicants; a credit score is based on payment history, amount of credit owing, length of time credit established, number of recently opened credit accounts, and types of credit established. Lenders generally use two different ratios to analyze credit worthiness. Generally speaking, here’s how they work (check with your local lender – their guidelines may differ):

  1. Housing Ratio = Total Monthly Housing Payments divided by Total Gross Income. This ratio must be 28% or less.
  2. Total Debt Ratio = Total Housing Other Debt divided by Total Gross Income. This ratio must be 36% or less.

In order to qualify for a conventional mortgage, an applicant must have an acceptable credit score and debt-to-income ratios.

3. Know what you have.

Account statements have a way of disappearing when divorce proceedings start. When contemplating divorce, start by collecting statements for all your financial holdings and put together a list of your assets. When negotiating your divorce settlement, this step will prove helpful as a starting point. Here’s an example of items you’ll need to list on an Asset Worksheet. Remember to note the value of each asset, and who owns what portion of it:

  • Retirement Assets
  • Liquid Assets
  • Real Estate
  • Personal Property
  • Cash Value Life Insurance
  • Business Interests

As you work your way through the asset split negotiations, each asset can be moved to its appropriate column: “Husband” or “Wife”. To figure out the percentage split, divide the total for each spouse by the grand total.

4. Consider the after-tax values of your assets.

Accounts with pre-tax contributions and tax deferred growth come with a tax liability. Know what the after-tax equivalent value is before agreeing to take an asset. Having $100,000 in an IRA or RRSP is not the same as having a $100,000 in a checking account. The spouse with the retirement savings plan will end up with the account value minus the tax liability, and the other spouse will have the whole amount to spend.

5. Understand your financial needs.

You need to make sure that the liquidity of the assets you’re getting matches up to your needs. Let’s suppose you want to keep the marital house – which is worth $300,000 or 50% of the marital estate – as your share of the settlement. Until you take a close look at your long-term financial forecast, you won’t know whether you can afford to keep it. Suppose, for example, you’ve factored child-support payments into your income; after the payments end, how are you going to pay the mortgage? If you have to put the house up for sale in a few years, you may be solely responsible for paying all the real-estate costs and capital-gains taxes from the time you and your spouse acquired the property until you sold it – which could be bad news indeed.

6. Don’t overlook the value of a future pension.

Any portion of a pension that was earned during the marriage should be included in the marital pool of assets. Pensions can be handled in three different ways:

  1. The non-employee spouse can receive his or her share of a future benefit;
  2. The pension can be present valued and offset;
  3. A combination of (1) and (2).

Your particular situation should determine which option makes the most sense for you. For example, a 32-year-old wife with two young children and limited resources will have different needs than a 55-year-old wife with a career and her own pension. Make sure you’re not the divorcee who has a great pension that will pay in 15 years and have no money to pay the bills today.

7. Hire a good team.

Personal recommendations from a trusted friend or business associate are a great source for professionals. However, you need to do your homework before hiring anyone. Your team should consist of a divorce lawyer and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) at a minimum. If needed, other members or the team could include a mediator, an accountant, a business or pension valuator, or perhaps a child or individual therapist. Although you may think that the more professionals you hire the more costly your divorce will be, this is not necessarily true. In the long run, having the appropriate help will cut down on litigation costs, and it may save you from making costly blunders regarding your settlement.

___________________________________________________


Fadi Baradihi is the president of the Institute for Certified Divorce Financial Analysts™ (IDFA™). For more information about how a CDFA® can help you with the financial aspects of your divorce, call (800) 875-1760 or visit their website at www.InstituteDFA.com.

How to Recover Financially After a Divorce?  7 Ways to Recover Fast (2024)

FAQs

How many years does it take to financially recover from divorce? ›

- While emotional stress may feel harder to handle, recovering financially takes longer — and more than one-third have yet to fully do so up to five years following the divorce.

How to bounce back financially after a divorce? ›

Ways to bounce back financially after divorce
  1. Create a new budget. ...
  2. Keeping or selling your home. ...
  3. Review your insurance needs. ...
  4. Review your estate plan. ...
  5. Revisit your financial goals. ...
  6. Create a plan to achieve your goals.
Jun 22, 2023

Who suffers most in divorce financially? ›

There is a good body of research on the subject that shows women bear the heaviest financial burden when a couple divorces. But as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® at EP Wealth, I know that inequalities may have more to do with household dynamics than gender.

How to heal from a divorce you didn't want? ›

“How will I ever recover…”
  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step towards healing is to acknowledge and validate your emotions. ...
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: ...
  3. Seek Professional Support for Divorce: ...
  4. Establish Healthy Boundaries: ...
  5. Focus on Self-Discovery: ...
  6. Build a Support Network: ...
  7. Embrace the Future: ...
  8. Tailored Support:
Jan 17, 2024

How to survive a divorce as a woman financially? ›

Surviving Financially After Divorce
  1. Expect your income to drop after the divorce is final. ...
  2. Consider whether you can afford to keep the house. ...
  3. Know what you have. ...
  4. Consider the after-tax values of your assets. ...
  5. Understand your financial needs. ...
  6. Don't overlook the value of a future pension. ...
  7. Hire a good team.

How to start over financially after divorce with no money? ›

Collectively, they shared valuable insights and actionable steps for rebuilding financially after a divorce.
  1. Establish an Emergency Fund:
  2. Make a Budget:
  3. Build or Rebuild Your Credit:
  4. Assess Your Financial Situation:
  5. Consult a Financial Advisor:
  6. Update Legal and Financial Documents:
  7. Plan for Long-Term Goals:
Jan 30, 2024

Can divorce ruin you financially? ›

To put it simply, regardless of your financial position during a marriage, you'll likely have less money coming into your household after a divorce, and you may not be able to afford all the things you used to when you were married.

How to afford living alone after divorce? ›

Start with building your support system, finding an affordable place to live, and seeking alimony or child support. Then evaluate your income and expenses and adjust where necessary. After that, build your emergency fund and retirement accounts.

What is financial dissociation after divorce? ›

Financial dissociation

Close all shared accounts or convert them into individual accounts where necessary. In the case of divorce you need to sort out the division of assets beforehand. A divorce mediator can help with splitting up assets fairly and out of court.

Who suffers most after divorce? ›

Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is for women, taking a more significant emotional toll as well as sparking physical deterioration. Women file for divorce 70% of the time, and when it's a shock, with no time to prepare — that has a marked impact on how men handle divorce.

What is the #1 cause divorce? ›

1 divorce cause? Research shows lack of commitment is the No. 1 cause for couples to get divorced. A 2013 study in Couple and Family Psychology noted that 75% of participants said lack of commitment was a major driver of their divorce; in 94% of the couples surveyed, at least one person cited lack of commitment.

Who fares better after a divorce? ›

Economic quality of life. Ultimately, the overall economic quality of a man's life, based on earnings and amount spent on living expenses, increases after his divorce. He continues to earn more but bears fewer family expenses. The overall economic quality of a woman's life, post-divorce, decreases.

How long does divorce grief last? ›

Individuals may go through several stages of mourning or grief. The emotional intensity of this period usually reaches a peak within the first six months of separation. However, the grieving process may take as long as two years.

How do I reset my life after divorce? ›

Here are nine strategies to help you move through divorce to a healthy new life.
  1. Let yourself feel. ...
  2. Talk it out. ...
  3. Embrace coping skills. ...
  4. Work together to focus on children. ...
  5. Watch out for stumbling blocks. ...
  6. Avoid hanging on in desperation. ...
  7. Don't rush into a new relationship. ...
  8. Use self-help and other resources.
May 9, 2022

How long does it take to fully heal after a divorce? ›

Traditional wisdom tells us that it takes approximately one month for every year you were married to heal. As you pass the one year mark, you are still in the healing process, but sometimes the edges around the pain have softened. Your divorce may be finalized during this year.

How long is the average divorce recovery? ›

Recovering from a divorce takes patience and time. Some therapists have suggested that it takes one year to heal for every five years you were married. Instead of rushing to replace everything you lost, take that year (or more) to reconnect with your old hobbies.

How do divorced dads survive financially? ›

Make sure to document all sources of income and all possible expenses, including child support and/or spousal support. If it looks like you might struggle to cover your ongoing costs, you should look at where you can cut back and save some money, such as cooking meals at home rather than going out to eat.

Will I be better off financially after divorce? ›

Even on a lower income, divorced people can build wealth by making smart use of their resources. "You could start over fresh and create your own strategic game plan," Hill says. The reality is not everyone's financial situation will improve with divorce, but some people are surprised to learn that it does.

Do men recover financially from divorce? ›

One study published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research found that men “rise immediately and continuously” as the years go by after their divorce. They may suffer a dent to their wealth at the beginning, but as time goes by, they actually seem to benefit from no longer having a spouse.

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