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- According to research by dating app Inner Circle, 68% of daters have had a relationship end after three months.
- This is usually due to something called the "feelings gap".
- This gap is the difference in the amount of time each partner takes to decide whether or not they want to be in a long-term relationship.
- Experts say women take longer to decide whether a new partner is their perfect match, while men are more likely to make snap decisions.
So you've reached that critical three-month point in a new relationship, and now you're stuck deciding if this could be worth the long-term commitment or not.
Well, according to global research conducted by the dating app Inner Circle, this is normally when relationships fall apart.
Stylist reports that the study found 68% of daters have had a relationship that ended at the three-month mark, and it's usually due to something called "the feelings gap".
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So what is the feelings gap?
The feelings gap refers to the difference in the amount of time it takes each partner to decide whether or not they want to be in the relationship for the long run.
While one partner may fall head over heels within the first few weeks, the other may take longer to decide if this is the perfect match for them, creating a space where both individuals are not on the same page, leaving one party heartbroken.
"The feelings gap is a real thing, and we see it all the time," Inner Circle's Crystal Cansdale said, according to Stylist. "One party steams ahead and falls quick and fast. Sometimes we accuse them of love bombing - displays of affection that feel too fast and too soon. But it's not as sinister in many cases."
Crystal added that the feeling gap could "explain a lot" about why some relationships don't work out.
"In relationships between men and women, women generally take the first few months to work out whether they really like the guy they're dating. They build feelings based on like-mindedness, shared values and how their date interacts with others. Men are more likely to make snap decisions. The gap can leave us with a three-month lag on catching up with one another's feelings - making the early stages trickier to navigate."
READ MORE |This is probably why you have been ghosted, according to experts
How do you avoid the feelings gap?
When exploring a new relationship, try to take things slowly at first, allowing yourself enough time to get to know the person without making any impulsive decisions.
Don't let your vision be clouded by idealistic expectations - be clear about what you want from the get-go. Yes, the honeymoon period is great, but ask yourself if this person ticks all your boxes beyond romantic gestures.
Keep communicating -- the only way to know for sure that you're still on the same page is to talk about it as openly as possible. The last thing you want is to pour all of your energy into a one-sided relationship.
FAQs
According to research by dating app Inner Circle, 68% of daters have had a relationship end after three months. This is usually due to something called the "feelings gap". This gap is the difference in the amount of time each partner takes to decide whether or not they want to be in a long-term relationship.
Why do most relationships end at 3 months? ›
The three-month rule and the “feelings gap”
In 2022, dating app Inner Circle reported that 68% of its users had a relationship end after three months because one partner wasn't ready to commit. Around half of men and 38% of women reported acting impulsively in the early days, then reflecting on their actions later.
What is the 3 month rule in relationships? ›
Think of the 3-month rule as a 90-day job evaluation. During this period, you date your partner while questioning their character, personality, values, and habits to see if they'd be a good match for you.
Is a relationship serious after 3 months? ›
If you do want to commit
And for what it's worth, research has found men do take about three months to say "I love you," while women take about five months—so things could be getting serious!
Is it normal to argue 3 months into a relationship? ›
As long as you both remain empathetic and understanding, fighting early in the relationship might not be a bad thing at all. Alternatively, if you or your partner is insulting or mistreating the other, or you're fighting over big issues like infidelity or lying, that might be a red flag.
What is the 3 month itch? ›
Instead, I'm talking about the trend known as the three-month itch, which occurs when a couple have been dating for about three months and suddenly one decides that they either want to exit the relationship, or morph things from casual to commitment.
What is the 90 day rule in relationships? ›
What Is the 90-Day Rule for Dating and Why Does It Matter? The 90-day dating rule suggests waiting 90 days after you start dating someone to have sex with them. Both men and women can follow the 90-day dating rule as it's intended to help develop close and long-lasting relationships.
What is the 3 month rule in life? ›
The three-month rule suggests waiting it out to see if things fizzle or if there's something real there. It's about getting to know the not-so-shiny parts of someone before getting too attached.” After just three months, you aren't likely to have so many constraints yet.
What is the 3-3-3 rule in a relationship? ›
The principle of this rule is when you are stressed. You should take some time to try to name three things you see, three things you hear, and three things you can touch.
Why is 3 months the hardest in a relationship? ›
After three months, the initial excitement fades, and real-life challenges emerge. This period tests the relationship's strength as partners start seeing each other's true selves, leading to potential conflicts and the need for deeper understanding and compromise.
The three month dating rule is a trial period that allows couples to shift from the honeymoon phase of dating to an integrated love phase. "What I mean by that is usually a few months into dating, we start to see some of the quirks, or maybe we start to notice things that we find annoying or irritating," Pharaon says.
Can someone love you after 3 months? ›
There is no definitive time frame for falling in love, though about 3–4 months may be a rough average, according to limited research. A person will likely start to form a bond with a person during this time.
Why do I feel worse 3 months after a breakup? ›
Stressful life events such as a breakup or divorce can sometimes trigger prolonged and severe emotional distress. Experiencing depressive and other symptoms following the end of a relationship is sometimes diagnosed as an adjustment disorder with depressed mood, also sometimes referred to as situational depression.
What is the 3 month relationship curse? ›
Once you realize that you have nothing in common other than your sexual chemistry, things will fizzle, and that's usually around the three-month mark. If you're looking for long-term potential, it's really important that you keep yourself in check in those first three months of the relationship.
Is it normal to doubt a relationship after 3 months? ›
At this post-limerence stage of love, it's standard to begin feeling some doubts. For those in long-term relationships, these doubts can creep in rather regularly. Whether you're 10 months or 10 years in, it's difficult to establish if the uncertain feelings are normal, or a sign to end things.
Is 3 months too long for a relationship break? ›
“There is no strict rule, but typically a break of a few weeks to a few months is ideal,” says Rachel Goldberg, LMFT and Founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles.
What month is most common for breakups? ›
Did you end your holidays with a heartbreak hangover? You're not alone. In fact, an analysis of relationship status changes on Facebook showed that December 11th is the biggest day of the year for breakups. January is even unofficially known as "National Breakup Month".
Is it normal to fall in love in 3 months? ›
Falling in love typically takes a few months. Love at first sight is likely an expression of strong lust or physical desire that transforms over time into romantic love for each other. There is no definitive time frame for falling in love, though about 3–4 months may be a rough average, according to limited research.
