Co-sleeping with Children (2024)

Children often sleep alongside parents or siblings as they are growing up. This practice is termed “co-sleeping”, and typically, it occurs on a nightly basis for an extended period of time: weeks, months, or in some cases, years. Many families find co-sleeping a good way to spend time together and bond as a family, or to reduce their child’s stress around falling asleep or waking during the night. It is also popular among breastfeeding mothers during their child’s infancy.

When should my child be sleeping in his own bed?

While sharing a bed might ease pressures on families while children are very young, the habit of co-sleeping can pose problems as children mature. By the time their children are 2 – 2 1/2 years old, most parents will be eager to have them sleep easily through the night in their own beds.

Why should my child learn to sleep alone?

Encouraging independent sleep in children as they mature is important for several reasons:

  • Extended co-sleeping can discourage children from achieving what’s known as “night time independence”. Children with night time independence are confident that they can fall asleep on their own, and know-how to comfort themselves if they are stressed or anxious around sleep – key steps in healthy emotional development.
  • Frequently, pre-school and school-aged children have fitful sleep cycles. Having a child kicking, tossing and turning in their bed can interrupt parents’ sleep, leading to exhaustion and stress throughout the day.
  • Parental intimacy is often compromised when their children sleep with them. This can have a detrimental effect on a couple’s relationship, affecting communication and physical closeness.
Co-sleeping with Children (2024)

FAQs

What age should you stop co-sleeping with your child? ›

Co-sleeping should stop when you start to see your child's body begin to transition in puberty, said Fisk. Prepubescence is the stage when sexual characteristics start to develop, like budding breasts and the growth of armpit hair.

Is it okay for a 7 year old to sleep with parents? ›

Co-sleeping is not recommended, but a 7-year-old child sleeping with parents is considered normal in many families and cultures. The American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against co-sleeping at any age, especially if the infant is younger than four months.

What are the effects of co-sleeping with older children? ›

The impact of chronic co-sleeping on a person's functioning—younger and older—can run the gamut from memory loss, fatigue, low energy, depression, and obesity. The reasons for parents allowing older children to co-sleep are complex and not completely understood.

Is it normal for a 10 year old to sleep with their parents? ›

Co-sleeping is highly common in anxious school-aged children, with more than 1 in 3 found to co-sleep at least sometimes (2–4 times a week). Co-sleeping was even more common for youth with greater anxiety severity.

Should a mother sleep with her 11 year old son? ›

As long as there are no obligations – both parties are doing it because they want to – there is no issue. both parent and child can stop co-sleeping when they want.

What are the psychological effects of co-sleeping? ›

From parents' reports (CBCL), early childhood co-sleeping is associated with more severe internalizing (anxious/depressed, p = . 021; withdrawal/depressed, p = . 006) problems, externalizing (aggressive behavior, p < . 001) problems, as well as all four DSM-oriented subscale problems (affective problems, p = .

Is it OK for a 12 year old to sleep with mom? ›

According to Liz Nissim-Matheis, a clinical psychologist in New Jersey, it's best to end co-sleeping when a person reaches puberty, or at around 11. “Once we get into that territory of bodies changing, that's when you really want to take a step back and say, 'What is going on here?

Does co-sleeping cause separation anxiety? ›

Transitioning from co-sleeping with parents to sleeping alone in a crib can cause separation anxiety. Some studies suggest that co-sleeping babies have less anxiety, higher self-esteem, and are more comfortable with affection.

What is it called when a mother sleeps with her son? ›

In psychoanalytic theory, the Jocasta complex is the incestuous sexual desire of a mother towards her son. The Electra complex is a psychoanalytic term used to describe a girl's sense of competition with her mother for the affections of her father.

Does co-sleeping delay development? ›

Other concerns with co-sleeping involve the delayed development of infant independence and sleep issues. For example, an infant who falls asleep with its parents in the same bed has been observed to have more sleep problems associated with shorter and more fragmented sleep.

Is it okay to cosleep with an 8 year old? ›

Co-sleeping with older children can be especially detrimental as it can create stress for the entire family, lead to poor sleep patterns for both parents and children, and inhibit the ability of children to develop independence.

Does co-sleeping increase dependency? ›

On average, children who bedshare do tend to transition to sleeping independently about a year later than other children, but they may be more independent, self-reliant, and confident in their daily lives than children who did not bedshare.

Is it normal for a 15 year old to sleep with parents? ›

While conventional wisdom may emphasize that your teenage child should sleep alone, it is not necessary to force it in every case. In certain cases, having a teenage child sleep next to the parent(s) may work better.

When to stop cosleeping with a child? ›

Stop Bedsharing When Your Child Is One-Year-Old

In the given scenario, I would suggest parents stop sleeping with kids when they reach one year of age, because this is the age when infants start to develop habits and their learning process starts to become more efficient.

Why does my 7 year old want to sleep with me? ›

The child fears many things including: Being alone, what others think of them, how they will perform, and trying new things. Often when I probe deeper I learn that for many of these children, more nights than not, they are sleeping in their parents' bed and into their double digits years.

At what age should a mother stop sleeping with her child? ›

Let Your Child Sleep on Their Own by Age Five

Parents should introduce sleeping in their own spaces as early as five years old. This is when they are fully grown, and still young enough to get used to the norm of having their bed and space.

At what age should kids sleep away from parents? ›

Age: Most sleep away camps start accepting children from the age of 7, but many parents wait until their children are a bit older before sending them away for the first time. It's important to consider your child's maturity level and ability to handle being away from home for an extended period of time.

What age should siblings stop sleeping in the same bed? ›

There isn't a specific age cut-off that requires that opposite-sex children separate rooms,” she says. “Parents should monitor where their children are, developmentally, and make decisions from there.

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