Why Do Some People Get A Thrill From The Silent Treatment? (2024)

The silent treatment is a behavior in which one person deliberately stops communicating with another person without any explanation or warning. The silent treatment is a behavior in which an individual consciously chooses not to respond verbally or nonverbally to someone’s attempts to communicate with them. This tactic is frequently employed to manipulate or punish the other person emotionally, and it can cause feelings of tension, hurt, and resentment within relationships.

Every person must have come across someone who loves giving the silent treatment, and having an effective conversation can scare the living daylights out of that person. Having someone like this in your life who doesn’t believe in having an open discussion can be incredibly stressful. But what if I told you that this person gets pleasure from treating you this way? Yes, it is true. Some people enjoy treating their loved ones this way, and sometimes, they do it purposefully. I’m sorry if you have such a person in your life; I know how difficult it is to deal with them.

Asking for some time alone from your loved ones is different, and using the silent treatment to keep them away is another. Politely asking for some time alone by having an effective conversation is considered healthy in relationships, while isolating yourselves from your loved ones without any explanation or a healthy discussion is highly toxic and disrespectful. For me, deliberate silent-treaters do not care much about their loved ones because they do not even once try to consider the perspective of the silent-treatment receiver, how much pain their toxic behavior inflicts on the victim’s heart.

It can be challenging for the target of the silent treatment to determine whether they are in a toxic friendship or relationship. They may assume that their friend or partner is dealing with personal struggles that require isolation rather than realizing that silent treatment is often a form of emotional manipulation. It’s essential to recognize that it is a fine line between showing compassion and being taken advantage of. While it’s necessary to be empathetic to others, it’s also crucial to maintain healthy boundaries and not tolerate harmful behavior. Understanding the signs of a toxic relationship or friendship can help individuals recognize when they are being mistreated and take action to protect their emotional well-being.

Let us try to understand the psychology behind the silent treaters:-

The reason a person resorts to using the silent treatment on others can be to establish control over their loved ones through manipulation. By cutting off contact without giving any reason for their actions, silent treaters create feelings of fear, confusion, guilt, and anxiety in the minds of their targets. This eventually increases the target’s urge to win the silent treater back, which the manipulator may use to their advantage. They can use their loved one’s vulnerability to get whatever they want by threatening to use silent treatment if their demands are not fulfilled.

Some people crave attention and may resort to using silent treatment as a tactic to receive it. The person giving the silent treatment expresses their frustration and displeasure in a passive-aggressive way with the yearning that the other person will try to contact them, thereby giving the silent treater a sense of control. However, this behavior can harm the relationship; it’s better to communicate openly and constructively about one’s feelings and needs. Most of the Silent treaters are absolute attention seekers. It’s important to note that using silent treatment as a way to seek attention or manipulate others can be harmful to relationships. It can create feelings of hurt, confusion, and distrust and may ultimately damage relationships.

The silent treatment can also be a learned behavior from childhood experiences. Any individual who considers giving the silent treatment to others instead of communicating about it by having an open conversation may have learned this kind of behavior from their parents. In some cases, parents may use the silent treatment to punishtheir child, which can lead the child to believe that this is an appropriate way to handle anger or frustration. However, this behavior can create patterns that carry into adulthood and negatively affect relationships. Growing up with a parent who used silent treatment to cope with resentment can influence how a person responds to similar situations in their own relationships. This behavior can become deeply ingrained and challenging to overcome. Nevertheless, recognizing and acknowledging the pattern is vital to breaking the cycle and building healthier communication habits.

The use of silent treatment and smoking have one thing in common, and that is that both not just impact the person using them but also the other person involved. Silent treatment affects an individual’s relationship with others negatively. It makes the relationship of the silent treater with their loved ones toxic and emotionally abusive. The constant controlling and manipulative behavior of the silent treater makes it hard for the victim of the silent treatment to cope with the latter, they constantly find themselves emotionally on edge. When people close to the person using the silent treatment begin to drift away, the silent treater becomes lonely and finds themselves trapped in their cycle of covert narcissistic tendencies. In short, the silent treatment slowly eats away the relationships of the abuser, along with their own soul.

How To Deal With A Silent Treater?

Being able to identify when someone is using the silent treatment to cope with their issues is an important skill to have. It is equally important to pinpoint these harmful habits in your relationships and take steps to overcome them. The first thing you can do is to set boundaries in your friendship or relationship.

Start by letting the other person know how their behavior affects you and that you will not tolerate it. Be specific about what behaviors are unacceptable and the consequences if they continue. Once you’ve communicated your boundaries, it’s crucial to stick to them. Don’t make exceptions or let the other person’s behavior slide. Consistency is key. Also, It’s essential to prioritize your well-being in any relationship. If someone repeatedly uses the silent treatment to control or manipulate you, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider ending it. If attempts to resolve the issue are unsuccessful, seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be beneficial. They can provide an objective perspective, offer guidance, and help you stay accountable to your boundaries.

A relationship in which one person constantly uses silent treatment on the other can become emotionally abusive over time. Nobody wants to be in a toxic, controlling, manipulative, and emotionally draining relationship. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and mental health, and you should never feel guilty about choosing your inner peace over an unhealthy relationship. People who use silent treatment intentionally on others are less likely to change their behavior, so it may be best to move on from the relationship or friendship. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you don’t have to tolerate abusive behavior from anyone.

“Silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly. It kills relationships, breaks hearts, and destroys trust.” — Tony Gaskins