What is a Catfisher? (2024)

A catfisher is an individual who uses the Internet, and in particular, online dating websites to lure people into a scam romance. The general goal of a catfisher is financial gain by developing an online relationship with another person and ultimately asking for money. Besides financial gain, catfishers are sometimes people who prey on others and gain pleasure from online communications and manipulation. You also might hear the terms catfish or catfishing. Catfishing targets both men and women.

When you find large numbers of people in a location or doing an activity, you'll inevitably find others who see an opportunity to take advantage of them. With over 40 million persons in the United States actively using online dating, online dating sites are an area where people are putting themselves on the Internet specifically for the purpose of meeting others. So there's no telling who might contact you and what you might know about them. However, with a little knowledge and common sense, it's possible to spot the scams and catfishers.

Catfishers take advantage of human needs and social behavior. People are meant to be social, to develop connections. Most human beings, regardless of culture, seek out some form of relationship with other individuals. The way humans connect with each other includes so many it's impossible to count but think of marriage, partnerships, families, religious organizations, social clubs, and others as just some of the ways people connect. Then there are online ways to connect.

With the Internet, people could connect with other people using email, messaging apps, social networks, and dating sites. Online dating sites are specifically designed so people can find and contact others for the purpose of dating and often to develop a long-lasting relationship. The goal of finding a partner, particularly a romantic one, makes people more vulnerable to scams and fraud. A catfisher attempts to target and start communications with individuals that are emotionally vulnerable and naive and develop a relationship online. Catfishers rely on the nature of online profiles and discussions to practice their “craft”.

Catfishers will never meet anyone face-to-face, which is one reason online dating date recommendations all encourage a face-to-face meeting within a reasonable time-frame. The catfisher will approach an individual through an online dating site with a fake profile. The online websites try their best to take fake profiles down, but it's so easy to set a profile up that it's a constant battle that never ends.

A catfisher usually lives too far away for any practical way to arrange a meeting; that's one sign that they are a potentially fraudulent account. Then an approach email starts, written fairly well, and good enough so that a back-and-forth dialog is started. That's when the catfisher knows they've got a potential target. Catfishers rely on telling people (both men and women) what they want to hear to keep the communication going. Often, the catfishers are physically located outside of the United States but use a false location for their profile.

Initially, email messages can use a template, a cut and paste approach that catfishers know will get a response if they send out enough emails. One way to challenge a catfisher is to ask direct questions and see if the answers come back with writing indicative of the education level of the profile. Often the catfisher doesn't speak English well, and you'll find grammatical errors. If you see this type of communications, it's time to start using common sense and report the account or block communications, since the person clearly isn't who they led you to believe based on their profile.

Catfishers prey on human needs to feel connected and provide people using online dating sites with a “relationship” that begins to form through online communications. Once the relationship builds up enough trust, the catfisher will start describing some situations that may require money. Never send money to anyone you've only communicated with through the online dating site. But it happens enough that catfishers keep setting up fake profiles and sending out “canned” emails approaching people since enough people are naive enough or emotionally vulnerable enough that they will become a victim.

Besides the catfishers whose primary goal is financial gain, other types of catfishers are mean and manipulative. Their goal in communication is to build a relationship online that they can use to be vindictive, cruel, or to see if they can control another person and affect their emotional state through an online relationship. These are sometimes more dangerous than the fraudulent catfishers since the scammers only want money. The ones who do catfishing as a hoax for emotional reasons are unsavory people. But when you put yourself out there, you; ll be approached by all types.

Tips for identifying catfishers:

They are presently out of the country or state through their profile says they are local. Usually, the profile says they are from a big city like Los Angeles. They often say that they will be returning in a month.

They quickly ask you to communicate off-site and give you an email address, phone number or ask you to set up a Yahoo Messenger account.

They ask for this change of communications format for a variety of reasons, the most common being that they are closing their account or that their account could be closed by the online service if they're reported.

They ask for information that's already in your profile. Even honest people ask for information that might already be in your profile, so it's not a deciding factor, but it does show that the person isn't paying close attention.

They don't answer direct questions.

Their comments don't make sense or are out of context (a sign of non-English language skills)

Their use of language; grammar, spelling, capitalization, and phraseology is incorrect or odd. With a scammer, the writing is not consistent. When they are writing about their emotions or what they are seeking, then the language is good. When, and if, they answer direct questions, the language is notably worse.

They will often claim to be orphans and that they have no close family.

They primarily write about their emotions and what they are looking for in a partner, but not about where they are. They write, often at length, about their feelings, how they want you to feel and all the great activities you'll do together when they finally get to see you. But they never give you specifics about their work, where they are, or daily life. The communications are always about emotion, desire, and romance.

They come on strong, ridiculously strong. It may be flattering at first, but how much can a pen pal care about you who you've never met and who won't answer your questions?

Dealing with people online requires the same common sense we use offline. When you first contact someone you don't know anything about them and their profile could be fake. After all, most people using online dating sites use a fake name to protect their identity. While email communication can sometimes last a while and still be honest, at some point a face-to-face meeting needs to take place. A good remote alternative is a video call using Skype or What's App so you can see each other.

eHarmonyand other dating sites use a profile verification tool for people so they can present themselves as a “real” person. I expect we'll see other online dating sites trying this out as well.

Not a subscriber? Don't miss a single issue: