Last updated on Apr 13, 2024
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- Peer Support
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1
Recognize the problem
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2
Document the incidents
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3
Set boundaries
4
Seek peer support
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5
Practice self-care
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6
Explore your options
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7
Here’s what else to consider
If you have a boss who constantly undermines your abilities and belittles you, you might feel frustrated, angry, or even depressed. You might doubt your own skills, lose motivation, or dread going to work. How can you cope with this situation and protect your mental health and career? Here are some tips from peer support experts who have faced similar challenges.
Key takeaways from this article
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Have a courageous conversation:
Initiate an honest dialogue with your boss. Present documented examples of their undermining behavior, and discuss how it impacts you. This assertive step can lead to improved understanding and change.
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Escalate if necessary:
If conversations don't lead to change, escalate the issue to HR or consult a mentor. Taking this step can protect your well-being and signal that such behavior is unacceptable in the workplace.
This summary is powered by AI and these experts
- Jessica Lightbourne, PCC (she/her/hers) Loving Leader | Extraordinary Coach |…
- Pauline Butterfield BAC Group of Companies
1 Recognize the problem
The first step is to recognize that your boss's behavior is not your fault, and that it is a form of workplace bullying. Bullying can have serious consequences for your well-being, such as stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, or burnout. It can also affect your performance, relationships, and opportunities at work. You are not alone in dealing with this problem, and you have the right to be treated with respect and dignity.
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2 Document the incidents
The next step is to document the incidents of your boss's undermining and belittling. Keep a record of the date, time, place, and details of what happened, who was present, and how it affected you. This will help you to have evidence in case you need to escalate the issue or file a complaint. It will also help you to identify patterns and triggers of your boss's behavior, and to prepare for future interactions.
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3 Set boundaries
The third step is to set boundaries with your boss and assert your rights. You can do this by communicating clearly and professionally, avoiding unnecessary contact, and saying no to unreasonable requests. You can also challenge your boss's negative feedback or accusations with facts and examples, and ask for constructive criticism or guidance instead. You can also seek support from your colleagues, mentors, or human resources if you feel unsafe or harassed.
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- Pauline Butterfield BAC Group of Companies
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Dealing with a boss who undermines and belittles you can be tough. It's essential to communicate your feelings assertively, provide examples of the behavior that concerns you, and request a private meeting to discuss how to improve the situation. If the behavior persists, consider escalating the issue to HR or seek support from a trusted mentor or colleague. Your well-being and professional growth are important, so don't hesitate to take action to address the situation.
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4 Seek peer support
The fourth step is to seek peer support from people who understand your situation and can offer you empathy, advice, or resources. Peer support is a form of mutual help that involves sharing experiences, feelings, and coping strategies with others who have similar challenges. You can find peer support groups online or offline, or connect with individual peers who have faced or are facing a boss like yours. Peer support can help you to feel less isolated, more empowered, and more hopeful.
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5 Practice self-care
The fifth step is to practice self-care and take care of your physical and mental health. You can do this by engaging in activities that make you happy, relaxed, or energized, such as hobbies, exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family. You can also seek professional help from a therapist, counselor, or coach if you feel overwhelmed or depressed. Self-care can help you to cope with stress, boost your confidence, and restore your balance.
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6 Explore your options
The sixth step is to explore your options and plan for your future. You can do this by evaluating your goals, values, and priorities, and considering whether you want to stay or leave your current job. You can also look for opportunities to grow, learn, or network within or outside your organization, and update your resume and portfolio. You can also seek feedback, advice, or referrals from your peers, mentors, or contacts in your field. Exploring your options can help you to find new possibilities, opportunities, or paths for your career.
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7 Here’s what else to consider
This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?
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- Report contribution
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I would also say, have a courageous conversation with your boss. If you don’t speak up, they will be able to say they had no idea. I know that can be extremely difficult to do sometimes, so get supported. As mentioned above, document the conversation for yourself (privately) and, if you think it would be helpful, to your boss as well. This way, you will also have evidence of the interaction and your assertive communication.
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