Speak up.
Tell the person that's not okay and that they should treat people with respect.
Step in.
If it is safe to do so, intervene when you see red flags. Calmly approach the situation and try to de-escalate.
Talk later.
Sometimes it's better to wait and talk to the abuser or the person who is being abused later, in private. They may be less defensive and talk more openly if you approach them one-on-one.
Gather resources.
There are organizations on and off campus that specialize in helping people who are experiencing dating violence. You can share information about these resources with a friend or use them for support for yourself. Visit the resources tab on this page to learn more.
How can I help a friend who is in an abusive relationship?
It can be challenging to see a friend experience dating violence. It is important to support yourself as you try to support your friend.
Do:
Listen to them and let them share how they are feeling.
Understand that they may not be ready to end the relationship and respect that it can take time for someone to recognize a relationship as abusive.
Approach the conversation without judgment by pointing out what you see. For example, "I noticed that you're spending a lot of time with your partner and we don't see you as much. How is your relationship?"
Follow up and continue to support them. It can take time for someone to leave an abusive relationship and it is important that they know they have your support.
Provide information about resources and offer to go with them to talk to somebody.
Don't:
Tell them how they should feel and ignore their wishes.
Expect them to leave right away and break off all contact with their abuser.
Judge your friend or tell them what to do.
Talk to them once and then never bring it up again.
Feel you are alone in helping. There are many resources available to help you and your friend at this time.
