The Top 5 Things That Destroy a Marriage (2024)

FAQs

What is the #1 thing that destroys marriages? ›

1. Lack of Honesty. Often when we think of honesty, notably honesty in marital relationships, we think of a very tangible “where were you last night” kind of honesty. While this is obviously critically important, there are many other kinds of dishonesty that can destroy marriages.

Marriage Killer Number 1: Criticism

No two people see the world the same or have the same values. Yet there is a big difference between complaining about the other person versus criticism of the other person. The main difference between the two is where the specific focus is upon.

According to various studies, the four most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

Contempt

John Gottman found out that contempt is the No. 1 predictor of divorce. Contempt is poison for marriages. Behaviors such as disrespecting, cursing, name-calling, and anything else that makes the other person feel bad about themselves reflect contemptuous intentions.

The prophet Isaiah portrayed the problem accurately more than 2,500 years ago when he described basic human selfishness like this: “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Selfishness is possibly the most dangerous threat to oneness in marriage.

Lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the leading causes of divorce in the world. But your age and culture may change it all. Relationship survival usually requires a blend of open communication, intimacy, and empathy.

They are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling — the four horsem*n of the apocalypse. He discovered patterns about how partners relate to each other that can be used to predict, with 94 percent accuracy, which marriages would succeed and fail. I found this to be powerful information.

#1: Dishonesty

While there are different kinds of dishonesty, it essentially amounts to the same thing – being unable to trust your partner with the truth. Dishonesty can be about finances, about your feelings, or just general dishonesty.

You may or may not be familiar with such numbers but there's a statistic that may take you by surprise. About 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women.

What year of marriage is divorce most common? ›

While there are numerous divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. During those two high-risk timeframes, two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

A “silent divorce” or an “invisible divorce” generally refers to the same concept. Both phrases describe a situation where a married couple remains legally married but has effectively ended their emotional and often physical relationship.

Miserable Husband Syndrome or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man experiences hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger due to the decrease in testosterone caused by aging (andropause), certain medications, or abnormally-high levels of stress.

1. Communication Issues. The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to fix them.

As a psychologist and sexologist, we've been studying relationships for more than 50 years combined, and we've found that no matter how you slice it, most of them fail because of poor communication.