The Hidden Cost of Wealth: How Does Money Change Your Sense of Self? — Renee Spencer, MFT (2024)

There’s no doubt about it—money is impactful.

It can change your life in a variety of ways, especially when you come into it suddenly or if you start out with “nothing” and become wealthy over time.

While there are many positives to the way money can shape your life, there are also some red flags to be aware of. In particular, if you’re not careful, money may start to change your identity or sense of self.

Having a lot of money can influence the way you think about yourself. It can change your sense of morality, and it can even have an impact on your relationships with other people.

With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at this hidden cost of wealth and how money can skew your vision of who you really are.

The Struggle of Being Independent

If you were born into a wealthy family and you’ve never had to worry about your finances before, that might seem like a good thing. In a sense, you could say that you were born independent because you’ll always have what you need.

But there are some drawbacks that come with being affluent your whole life. Many children who grow up in exceedingly wealthy families have a harder time learning responsibility and becoming independent adults.

Money tends to create a lot of pressure. Indulgent behavior isn’t uncommon, which can lead to problematic issues like addiction down the road. There are many struggles wealthy families face, and they have more to do with internal problems rather than financial ones.

If you have money from the moment you’re born, you may not be able to handle life’s “everyday tasks” as well as someone who has had to work for their successes.

The Trauma of Coming Into Money

There are many reasons people experience sudden wealth. Perhaps they came into a financial windfall when their company went public. Or they inherited money after the death of a loved one. Some people may have even won a contest or the lottery.

It doesn’t matter how you come into money quickly, it matters how you handle it.

Having a lot of money all of a sudden will force you to change some things in your life. For example, you’ll have to think more about money than you may ever have before. How are you going to save it? How are you going to protect it? Money can quickly consume your thoughts when you have a lot of it.

Others may also start to look at you differently. Some might automatically assume you think you’re “better” than they are because you're affluent now. Some may also treat you better in the hopes of getting a piece of your wealth. People aren’t inherently “bad” when it comes to money, but there are stereotypes in place about wealth for a reason.

Because money creates a lot of pressure on a person’s life, it can also create a lot of stress. That’s one factor among several that can contribute to higher rates of addiction in the wealthy. Even wealth itself can become addicting—if you have a lot of money, you might start to crave more.

When money becomes your focal point, you also may be more inclined to act immorally. Studies have shown that people with an extreme amount of money are more likely to do unethical things. Wealth tends to endow a sense of power. You might feel as though you’re “untouchable,” so you try to get away with more than you normally would.

Keeping Yourself Grounded

Money will significantly impact you emotionally if you become extremely wealthy. There’s no getting around that. But, as noted above, it’s how you handle this impact that can make a difference in your mental and emotional well-being.

The Hidden Cost of Wealth: How Does Money Change Your Sense of Self? — Renee Spencer, MFT (2024)

FAQs

The Hidden Cost of Wealth: How Does Money Change Your Sense of Self? — Renee Spencer, MFT? ›

In particular, if you're not careful, money may start to change your identity or sense of self. Having a lot of money can influence the way you think about yourself. It can change your sense of morality, and it can even have an impact on your relationships with other people.

How does money affect your identity? ›

Your financial identity plays a pivotal role in influencing your overall well-being and self-perception. Your financial standing can affect self-worth, social identity, life choices, relationships, health, personal goals, and aspirations.

How wealth changes your personality? ›

Children growing up in wealthy families may seem to have it all, but having it all may come at a high cost. Wealthier children tend to be more distressed than lower-income kids, and are at high risk for anxiety, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, cheating, and stealing.

What does the psychology of money quote about wealth? ›

The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, “I can do whatever I want today.” 43. The ability to do what you want, when you want, with who you want, for as long as you want, is priceless. It is the highest dividend money pays.

How does money affect your life? ›

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy security and safety for you and your loved ones. Human beings need money to pay for all the things that make your life possible, such as shelter, food, healthcare bills, and a good education.

How does money affect self-esteem? ›

Money is a symbol of status in Western cultures, so it makes sense that an increase in salary might lead one to feel greater self-worth. Alternatively, people with higher self-esteem might, by virtue of their high levels of confidence, seek out higher-paying jobs.

How does money affect people's emotions or feelings? ›

Feelings associated with money

You might feel guilty for spending money, even if you know you can afford it. Or, you might feel guilty for seeking support, even if you know you need it. You might be afraid of looking at your bank balance or speaking to the bank. You might feel ashamed for needing support.

How does being rich affect you emotionally? ›

Once you have the trappings of an affluent life, there is an intense desire to maintain it and surpass the affluence of your peers. Fear of losing these riches, power, and prestige undermines confidence and reveals uncertainty. This circ*mstance is extremely stressful and has an effect on mental health.

What are the 8 qualities of a wealthy woman? ›

8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman
  • 1&2. Harmony & Balance: ...
  • Courage: ...
  • Generosity: ...
  • Happiness: ...
  • Cleanliness: ...
  • Beauty: ...
  • Wisdom:
Sep 25, 2018

How does sudden wealth change a person? ›

Recognisable signs of developing, or having developed sudden wealth syndrome, include emotional afflictions such as isolation from former relationships, the paranoia of losing one's affluence, guilt, and the uncertainty or shock due to the unexpected nature of their fortune.

What is the psychology behind being rich? ›

The Wealth Elite

My study also found that the rich are less agreeable and less neurotic, but more conscientious, more open to experience, and more extraverted. Beyond that, however, other key findings emerged in the interviews: The super-rich are overwhelmingly nonconformists who love to swim against the tide.

What is the wealth effect in psychology? ›

Key Takeaways. The wealth effect posits that consumers feel more financially secure and confident about their wealth when their homes or investment portfolios increase in value. They are made to feel richer, even if their income and fixed costs are the same as before.

What is the money mindset of the rich? ›

Rich people see money as an opportunity, poor people see it as something to be earned. Rich people are said to make money work for them. Instead of just working and relying on income, a rich person would take a proportion of their income and invest it.

How money affects the brain? ›

More recently, we've also discovered that low income is associated with physical changes in brain development. For example, children from low-income families tend to develop a smaller hippocampus—a part of the brain that is important for learning and memory.

What is a famous quote about money and happiness? ›

Money cant buy happiness”- you've probably heard this phrase a million times. Money is a tricky question because if you don't have it, you want more of it, and even if you do, you want to earn more of it.

How does lack of money affect mental health? ›

Money can be a safety net; without it, you may feel vulnerable and anxious. And all the worrying about unpaid bills or loss of income can trigger anxiety symptoms such as a pounding heartbeat, sweating, shaking, or even panic attacks. Relationship difficulties.

How is money a big factor in a person's identity? ›

You are defined primarily by your wealth, and what you do with your wealth shapes the perceptions of your character. This is what people care about most. This singular view of identity is the source of most problems on the “People You Don't Know” layer.

How does money influence you? ›

Money plays a central role in our lives, affecting not only our financial wellbeing but also our emotional and mental health. Constantly worrying about our financial circ*mstances – whether it's about bills and debt or future financial security – can have affect us long-term.

How does money affect human interaction? ›

The children who had contact with money during the experiment, have shown a decrease in pro-social behaviors and an increase in egoistical attitudes. On the other hand, they were also more persistent in completing individual tasks.

How does being rich affect a person? ›

Children from extremely wealthy households may receive a superior education and upbringing, but they frequently grow up feeling alone and unwanted. Depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders, and behavioural issues are extremely prevalent, so it's not surprising.

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