The Best Advice for 21-Year-Olds on Getting Your Sh*t Together (2024)

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TL;DR: It’ll all be okay, promise!!

By The Editors
The Best Advice for 21-Year-Olds on Getting Your Sh*t Together (3)

You are FINALLY a 21-year-old human. You can go to the liquor store! You can get ID’d at the bar—and they won’t turn you away! Whether you’re searching for post-grad internships or just getting drunk on espresso martinis, it’s a milestone worth celebrating.

When you’re 21, lots of other life events are ramping up too: Graduating from college, securing jobs and internships, and moving to a new city could all be on the horizon. TBH, it’s definitely a super-exciting and slightly terrifying time. It can feel like your life is escalating at rapid speed.

Navigating all of the things is hard. So we asked readers to weigh in with the advice they’d give their 21-year-old selves. You may have to buy clothes outside of the “clurb” and “class” categories and avoid staying out past 2 a.m. (sad face), but you’re going to crush the rest of your 20s with these tips and a Lot. Of. Coffee.

The Advice

  1. “It’s not all downhill after you turn 21. Your best years are yet to come!” —Sarah
  2. “Find a type of workout that you actually like and is fun for you.” —Maggie
  3. Go on that Tinder/Bumble date. You might not find your soul mate, but you’ll never regret putting yourself out there.” —Laurel
  4. “Not every decision is a make or break. It can feel like every time you have to choose something, it’s a huge moment that you could never take back. But that’s not true. Give yourself a break. Everything works out in the end.” —Abbey
  5. You don’t need to be anxious that people are focusing on you, because odds are they’re not. Just be yourself.” —Claire
  6. “Never be the smartest person in the room! Seek out opportunities that stretch you, not just ones you know you’ll be comfortable in.” —Mackenzie
  7. “Don’t forget to moisturize your neck. You may not realize the importance of it now, but you’ll be so happy you did.” —Hannah

  8. “There is never any reason to take a shot at 2 a.m.”Ronnie
  9. “Success isn’t linear. The detours, the false starts, the roads that lead to absolutely nowhere are some of the most important moves you’ll make. I’ve learned so much more from what hasn’t worked out the way I hoped than from what has.” —Lindsay
  10. “You don’t need to post every single thing on social media. Live in the moment!” —Katherine
  11. Stop comparing yourself and your life trajectory to others. They’re probably lying or only showing the good parts anyway.” —Estee
  12. “The loser you dated in high school does NOT define you. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can move on.” —Chloe
  13. Make connections with college faculty members. Not only will they be useful for references down the line, but they’re great advisers for anything from school-related questions to things happening in your life.” —Laila
  14. “If you start a job and realize it’s not what you thought or you just don’t love it, don’t be afraid to pivot. You still have so much time to figure it out. Now is the time to try everything that interests you.” —Chelsea
  15. Wear the damn outfit! You look good as hell and no one will remember it anyway.” —Emily
  16. “Just enjoy this time because it’s time that you’re never going to get back.” —Pady
  17. “Chill on the daily to-do list. Your worth is not defined by how productive you are in a day.” —Ellen
  18. Be nicer to your parents! They’re only looking out for you.” —Rachel
  19. “If things take a second to fall into place or speed up right now, that is fine—actually, it’s amazing. Take walks in the middle of the day. Get a weird part-time job while you’re looking for something steadier. Enjoy this unstructured time.” —Ellie
  20. Don’t be so hard on yourself in college and in your first job. You’ll put a lot of pressure on yourself later in life. Now is the time to simply enjoy.” —Anastasia
  21. “Always go out when you have the opportunity. If you’re really not feeling it, don’t force yourself, but you’ll regret not having done SOMETHING when you find yourself bored on the couch at 10 p.m.” —Brooke
  22. “Don’t stress out so much about the future! What’s meant to be will be, no matter how much planning you do.” —Briana
  23. “Take all the vodka and tequila shots now. Soon, your body will not be able to handle it.” —Paige
  24. “No matter what you do, there will always be someone who is going to have some sh*t to say. So just do what makes YOU happy.” —Henry
  25. Realize your worth and surround yourself with people who encourage and support that. It’s not worth hanging out with people who don’t add value to your life.” —Bria

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The Best Advice for 21-Year-Olds on Getting Your Sh*t Together (2024)

FAQs

What advice would you give yourself at 21? ›

Find joyful movement, do it every day and stretch a lot. Tell your friends every time you think of them, you don't know how much they might need you. It's never too late to do something else. Let your age be an enabler not a barrier.

How do I get my life together in my 20s? ›

Let's go.
  1. Make a plan—but be willing to change. Setting goals is great. ...
  2. Make a budget and stick to it. ...
  3. Learn how to set boundaries. ...
  4. Take care of your mental health. ...
  5. Save up an emergency fund. ...
  6. Embrace the season you're in. ...
  7. Pay off all debt (especially student loans). ...
  8. Get out of your parents' house.
Jan 30, 2024

How to get life together at 22? ›

How to get your life together: A 10-step checklist
  1. Be honest with yourself. ...
  2. Set mid- and long-term goals. ...
  3. Identify toxic people in your life. ...
  4. Make a plan. ...
  5. Get into a routine. ...
  6. Avoid procrastination. ...
  7. Adopt a positive mindset. ...
  8. Stop people-pleasing.
Jan 20, 2024

How many friends should a 21 year old have? ›

There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you.

Why is 21 an important age? ›

The 21st birthday is often celebrated as a rite of passage, signifying the transition into adulthood and the embrace of newfound freedoms and choices. Drinking Age and Celebrations: One of the most widely recognized associations with the number 21 is its connection to the legal drinking age.

What would you tell your 21 year old self? ›

Believe in yourself, just as much as others believe in you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's important to know your self-worth. Breathe.

How often do couples in their 20s do it? ›

Age and sex are the two factors that have the strongest effect on sex frequency. Americans in their 20s have sex about 80 times per year, approximately once every four to five days.

Is dating in 20s hard? ›

The truth is, dating in your 20s exposes you to a lot of people who know how to make your life a little miserable. With all the uncertainty and life changes everyone is going through, looking for love can feel a bit like being thrown into the deep end and waiting for the riptide to drown you.

How do you build relationships in your 20s? ›

1) Practice open and compassionate communication:

It is important to share with your partner how you feel and what you want to see from them. By doing so, you can set boundaries and figure out what your next step is together. Your twenties are a time for finding your voice and exploring who you really are.

How to find love at 21? ›

You can find a boyfriend by trying online dating, asking friends, or finding the right places to meet guys. When you meet someone, move towards making him your boyfriend by being confident, taking it slow, and figuring out if he is a good fit for your life.

Is 22 late to start life? ›

Absolutely not. Assuming an average life expectancy of about 80 years old, he will still have about 34 years to go. 34 years is a very long time to be sitting around doing nothing and plenty of time to make something out of life. Don't compare yourself with others.

How to plan a life together? ›

How to plan for the future in a relationship
  1. Why is planning for the future important? ...
  2. What life qualities do you want? ...
  3. Talk about hopes and dreams. ...
  4. Be honest. ...
  5. Listen intently. ...
  6. Consider each other's aspirations. ...
  7. Put the plan to action. ...
  8. Think about both the short and long term.

Is it too late to make friends at 21? ›

Making New Friends as an Adult Isn't Easy, but Luckily, We Have 102 Expert-Backed Ways To Do Just That. It's never too late to find the crew for you and here's how to do it. Good friends are worth so much. Few things in life are more important than supportive, close friends.

How does a 21 year old make friends? ›

Join a club, go to the gym or anything else that meets regularly. One of the best ways to make new friends is to surround yourself by the same people often. People usually do this at work, but if you're not comfortable making friends at work or if you don't work in an office, you have other options.

What is a normal amount of friends to have? ›

Number of close friends

A narrow majority of adults (53%) say they have between one and four close friends, while a significant share (38%) say they have five or more. Some 8% say they have no close friends. There's an age divide in the number of close friends people have.

What advice would you give yourself in your 20s? ›

Learn to accept and love yourself first

In other words, show some self-compassion. Scientists say it can make you more successful because you're learning from your missteps, instead of berating yourself for them.

What should I do as soon as I turn 21? ›

21 Cool Things You're Allowed to Do Once You Turn 21
  • Go to a nightclub or bar.
  • Do a bar crawl.
  • Participate in a wine tasting.
  • Order alcohol on a plane.
  • Buy tobacco products.
  • Buy legal cannabis products (in some states).
  • Buy a lottery ticket in all U.S. states.
  • Gamble and visit a casino.
Jul 22, 2024

What to expect at 21 years old? ›

Whether you're searching for post-grad internships or just getting drunk on espresso martinis, it's a milestone worth celebrating. When you're 21, lots of other life events are ramping up too: Graduating from college, securing jobs and internships, and moving to a new city could all be on the horizon.

How to be the best at 21? ›

Advice to My 21-year-old Self
  1. Figure out your own measure of success. ...
  2. Keep reading books out of pure interest. ...
  3. Don't take relationships for granted. ...
  4. Fight-or-flight is not a long-term relationship strategy. ...
  5. Don't bother buying things to impress other people. ...
  6. It's okay to trust your own gut.
Jan 20, 2015

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