We let go of a lot of things, especially mistakes when the ones who make them are family members. Siblings especially have a place on the list of people to be exempted.
It's mostly because they are trusted enough that if they screw up, it wouldn't be because they have the intention to hurt you. There's also the reason that it would be frustrating to have hostile tension against people that you're supposed to be with all of your life.
But sometimes it can't be helped that they go over the limit of innocent mistakes to actual illegal things. The worst thing is that those mistakes affect you greatly.
Borrowing things is sort of inevitable for siblings. Even if you don't live in the same house, somehow you'll have some of their stuff on loan indefinitely.
That would be usually okay since you know where to find it and you can ask for it back any time. But what if they don't borrow it, they steal it and sometimes lose it?
A Redditor faced this dilemma when her younger sister who has a track record of stealing from her, got her iPad from her safe and lost it on the train. The sister showed no remorse until OP decided to use her sister's money for her sixteenth birthday party to replace her lost iPad.
Here's how OP's problem developed
OP's sister has a lengthy track record of taking stuff from OP's space, even things from her boyfriend. And while their dad tries to discipline her, the mom just makes excuses
OP's boyfriend Cal gave her an Ipad for her birthday and uses it a lot of times
The sentimental value of the Ipad increased with the custom case that OP's brother made so OP makes sure to lock it in the safe when she's out
When OP got back from her brother's place, the safe didn't hold the Ipad anymore and only the case. Either her boyfriend or her dad has seen it
Non-chalantly, OP's mom disclosed that the younger sister lost it in the train and to just let it go
The fight started and the dad got in between, telling the little sister to payback OP. When she said that she has no money, OP decided to take the money for her party for compensation
Although the mom disagreed, the dad wanted OP to do with what she wanted with the money which her brother transferred in her boyfriend's account
OP's brother and boyfriend came by to help settle the situation
It was discovered that the sister has been stealing from not only OP but also their older brother
THe sister started telling OP what she really did but OP doesn't believe all of it anymore
OP's sister should stop and even take accountability for her actions or...
she might get something more than just a scolding
She's crying about it which means she really does care about it but didn't think things through when she stole the Ipad
A few Redditors gave out suggestions on how to secure her safe better
She could give a copy of the key to someone trustworthy, namely the dad and her boyfriend
OP should not only secure the things in the safe but also the safe itself
It's an expensive fault to just let go
If the dad and the boyfriend need tips to better fix the locks then they could watch this pro
Some suggest to do the right thing and call the police since it is actually theft
If OP's sister doesn't stop stealing, she might see a few court cases of her own too
end of comment
OP provided that it was her first time snapping in the situation
They encouraged that she should have done that long ago
OP is wary of the suggestion since it might create more tension in the family
This Redditor agrees with OP
They pointed out though that she already lives in an environment that's toxic
Whatever way OP chooses, it's nice that she has the support of her dad, her boyfriend, and her brother.
Because it seems like her mother is a lost cause when it comes to listening to her
They did try looking for the Ipad
They did but turns out it's not worth going back for
It's always painful to not be on good terms with your siblings when you're supposed to have each other's back. If OP's sister gets out scratch-free without regret in this situation, she might always feel like she can get her way.
This will reduce the accountability that she has and will further affect her adult life. Do you think OP should return the money or buy herself a new Ipad?
When your sister steals your inheritance, it's important to report the matter to the police because it is classified as theft. There is no other course of action but to report this matter to the police.
Be reassuring. Let them know what they did is understandable. ...
Minimize consequences. What will happen if they confess?
The release. Explain that after divulging information, they will come out better—either be a better person, have a better outcome, or just feel relieved.
Documentary evidence refers to any written or recorded material that is relevant to the alleged crime. This can include things like receipts, invoices, bank statements, contracts, and so on. This evidence helps establish ownership or prove financial transactions related to the stolen property.
Contact your bank or card provider to alert them. Reporting is an important first step to getting your money back, and you could be liable for all money lost before you report it. If you've been targeted, even if you don't fall victim, you can report it to Action Fraud.
Stay as calm as you can. Don't raise your voice or let your emotions get the better of you. Say something like, “I am so disappointed that you took the money in my wallet.I never would have guessed that you would do something like that.”
Avoid confronting them right away, especially if you're feeling too angry or hurt to stay calm. Give yourself time to cool down and consider your approach. One helpful strategy is to write your family member a letter that you don't actually intend to give them. Put the letter away for a few hours or overnight.
Frame the consequence, such as loss of screen time, as the result of the choice a child made, so that they connect their actions to this negative outcome, says Dr. Lavin. An older child may have to do extra chores to earn money to pay someone back for stolen goods.
tell the child that stealing is wrong. help the youngster to pay for or return the stolen object. make sure that the child does not benefit from the theft in any way. avoid lecturing, predicting future bad behavior, or saying that they now consider the child to be a thief or a bad person.
Stealing may cause the release of dopamine — another neurotransmitter. Dopamine causes pleasurable feelings, and some people seek this rewarding feeling again and again. The brain's opioid system. Urges are regulated by the brain's opioid system.
Let your family member know how much they hurt you.
Stay as calm as you can. Don't raise your voice or let your emotions get the better of you. Say something like, “I am so disappointed that you took the money in my wallet. I never would have guessed that you would do something like that.”
Sit them down, talk to them, request they do not take stuff without asking. Let them know to ask you first and not to take it if you say no. Let your parents know and have them talk to the siblings. Lock your stuff up.
If you find out that your teen is lying or stealing, let them know immediately that you know. Remind them that this behaviour is unacceptable and give them meaningful consequences. When things are calm, have a conversation to find out why they have done this and try to help them resolve this issue.
Introduction: My name is Nathanael Baumbach, I am a fantastic, nice, victorious, brave, healthy, cute, glorious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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