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Money holds substantial importance in adulthood and is often tied to major life milestones—the same can be said about romantic relationships. So what happens when you combine the two?
As it turns out, love may not be all you need. A Forbes Advisor survey looked at the role money plays in romantic partnerships, and most respondents believe financially stable couples with similar money goals are more likely to enjoy successful relationships.
Key Takeaways
- The majority of respondents (86%) believe that couples with similar financial goals and habits experience more successful relationships.
- More than half of respondents (57%) think a loss of income or salary reduction would negatively impact their relationship.
- Around 41% of respondents have hidden certain expenses from their partner, and 10% of respondents feel uncomfortable with a partner accessing their personal finances.
- Roughly one-fifth (21%) of respondents believe that both partners should contribute equally to expenses regardless of income.
- Around 17% of respondents reported discomfort with the idea of their partner earning considerably less than them.
- An overwhelming majority (86%) of respondents say they trust their partner when it comes to finances.
Attitudes Toward Income in Partnerships
Overall, our findings reveal that most respondents (86%) believe couples sharing similar financial goals and habits have more successful relationships than those who don’t. But there’s more going on beneath the surface.
When asked about their comfort levels regarding income disparities within their romantic relationships, most respondents were comfortable with a large income disparity. The vast majority (94%) said they would be okay with their partner earning significantly more than them, and 77% were okay with their partner earning considerably less.
Very few were not okay with a partner earning considerably more, but more than one in six (17%) were not okay with their partner earning considerably less. Broken down by generation, Millennials were the most likely to feel uncomfortable about their partner earning considerably less (24%), followed by Gen X (19%). Baby Boomers were the most comfortable with the idea, with only one in ten stating they wouldn't be okay with their partner earning considerably less.
Women and men were equally okay with their partner earning considerably more, but women were more uncomfortable with the idea of their partner earning considerably less. While 83% of men said they'd be okay with their partner earning less, only 73% of women said the same.
How People in Relationships Feel About Splitting Expenses
When asked about the best way to split expenses, the largest contingency of respondents (45%) said couples should decide how to split expenses based on their unique circ*mstances.
But other respondents felt differently, with roughly one in five saying both partners should contribute equally regardless of income and a little under one in six saying each partner should contribute to expenses based on how much they earn. Having partners contribute based on how much money they have remaining after covering personal obligations, like student loans, was the least popular idea.
Clearly, couples have varying beliefs about what splitting expenses equitably should look like. However, with new research from the Indiana University Kelley School of Business suggesting married couples who merge finances have higher-quality relationships, couples may want to consider whether they could benefit from a more collaborative approach.
As is the case for many financial decisions, there’s no one right answer when it comes to the best way to merge finances. Some couples prefer pooling some or all of their money into a joint bank account and using it to pay shared expenses. Others prefer to save for personal goals within individual high-yield savings accounts. Many may do a little of both.
Financial Trust in Relationships: 41% Have Hidden Expenses From Their Partner
There’s no doubt that trust is a major tenet of any romantic relationship—or financial relationship. Our survey led to interesting insights on the intersection of trust and money.
Roughly two in five respondents (41%) disclosed that they'd concealed expenses from their partner. However, the majority of respondents (58%) said they never do so.
Among those who admitted to hiding purchases, 15% reported doing so in general, while 23% specified that they sometimes hide small purchases. Only 3% admitted to hiding significant purchases from their partner.
Meanwhile, 86% of respondents reported being trusting of their partner when it comes to financial matters. Another 8% reported being neutral (neither trusting nor distrusting), while only 6% said they were distrusting of their partner regarding financial matters.
Our survey also explored respondents' feelings about a partner accessing their personal finances. More than three-quarters (77%) of respondents expressed being comfortable with their partner having access to their individual finances, including bank accounts or credit cards. Only 10% indicated feeling uncomfortable with such access.
Baby Boomers (11%) and the Silent Generation (38%) were more likely than other generations to say this question didn’t apply to them because they’ve combined financial accounts with their partners.
When it comes to gender differences, men appear to be more comfortable with their partner accessing their finances. While 85% of men said they were comfortable with the idea, only 72% of women agreed.
89% Believe Financial Stability Is Necessary for a Happy and Successful Relationship
Our survey results suggest that for most, finances and relationships aren’t completely separate entities. Almost nine in ten respondents (89%) said that financial stability was necessary for a happy and successful relationship, while only 11% said it was not.
It's not surprising, then, that most respondents believe financial challenges present a challenge to the relationship as a whole. When asked if a loss of income or salary reduction would negatively impact their relationships, 57% of respondents believed it would.
Of those who expressed this concern, 45% said the loss of income would be challenging but not a deal-breaker. The remaining 12% said it could potentially lead to a breakup, separation or divorce.
While these results may sound alarming, they suggest that many couples could benefit—both financially and relationally—from working toward financial stability together. Planning for shared goals, budgeting together or even working with a trusted financial advisor are a few ways couples can make progress with both their finances and partnership.
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Methodology
This online survey of 1,000 Americans in a relationship was commissioned by Forbes Advisor and conducted by market research company OnePoll, in accordance with the Market Research Society’s code of conduct. Data was collected from January 5 to January 8, 2024. The margin of error is +/- 3.1 points with 95% confidence. This survey was overseen by the OnePoll research team, which is a member of the MRS and has corporate membership with the American Association for Public Opinion Research (AAPOR).
