Seven Signs Elderly Parents Need More Support at Home (2024)

Seven Signs Elderly Parents Need More Support at Home (1)

During this holiday season, many adults are excited to visit their elderly parents, often for the first time in several months due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

While many adult children and their aging parents are overjoyed to finally be able to connect face-to-face with the availability of the COVID-19 vaccines, they may witness changes in their elderly loved ones’ physical appearance and behaviors, as well as the condition of their homes. These changes could be warning signs that the aging parents need more assistance to remain living independently while staying safe and healthy.

Here are some warning signs that a mature adult might need more support at home:

  1. Changes in the Home Environment
    Is their home in disarray, messier and/or more cluttered than normal? Dirty dishes and laundry piling up could be signs of decline in the elderly loved one. Scorched cookware could indicate that the older resident is forgetting when something is cooking on the stove until it burns. Expired food in the refrigerator also is a red flag of a possible safety issue.
  2. Weight loss or gain
    Unintended weight loss and gain could suggest a poor diet, mobility problems, depression, dementia and other health issues.
  3. Medication Misuse
    You can count the number of pills prescribed in a bottle and see how many of them have been taken to gain insight into whether your elderly parent is taking the right dosage of medicine on a regular basis.
  4. Unpaid bills
    Bounced checks, late payment notices and expired registration on vehicles could be signs of trouble.
  5. Changes in Mood
    Does your parent appear depressed and have little to no energy? Are they behaving differently towards their family members and friends?
  6. Physical Frailty
    Even a parent who normally likes taking walks, playing golf or doing other activities will slow down at some point. But if you see parents struggling to walk up and down stairs, demonstrating an unbalanced gait while walking, or sitting in one spot for hours and then experiencing pain when they stand up, those could be symptoms of medical problems.
  7. Possible Abuse
    Pay close attention to physical, behavioral and living and environmental signs that your loved one might be suffering from abuse, neglect and/or exploitation, including suspicious bruises, binding marks and burns. Some behavioral indicators that could suggest abuse, neglect or exploitation include withdrawal from friends or usual activities, as well as anger, hyperactivity and suicidal thoughts or attempts, changes in appetite and depression. You can report suspected abuse, neglect or exploitation of an adult by calling Arizona Adult Protective Services at 1-877-767-2385 or by submitting a complaint online at des.az.gov/aps.

DES and its partners can connect individuals to resources in their communities and obtain support for their elderly parents, so they can safely live in their own homes and find fulfillment in their golden years. Here are a few of the resources you can use to support a loved one while still taking care of yourself:

  1. Home and Community Based Services (HCBS) offers adult daycare, healthcare, home-delivered meals, as well as help with housekeeping and personal care, transportation and respite care. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to find services.
  2. Healthy Living programs help older adults enhance their physical and mental health in a variety of ways. The Chronic Disease Self-Management Program (CDSM) offers workshops for people with ongoing health issues to help them learn how to manage those symptoms more effectively. Trained leaders who live with chronic conditions teach the workshops, which cover diverse topics including nutrition, dealing with difficult emotions, problem-solving and activities to boost strength and stamina. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for more information.
  3. Family Caregiver Support is available to the more than 800,000 unsung heroes who are dedicated to helping loved ones. In 2020, DES launched the Arizona Family Caregiver Reimbursem*nt Program, which allows family caregivers to receive partial reimbursem*nt for home modifications and assistive care technology, including ramps, high-rise toilets with handrails, wheelchairs and medical alert devices, that they use to allow their relatives to be safe, mobile and independent at home. Arizona recently extended the program to last through June of 2024 and expanded eligibility. Family caregivers also can obtain information about available services; receive help accessing support; participate in counseling, support groups and training related to their roles; receive respite care to be temporarily relieved from their responsibilities; and enjoy supplemental assistance to complement the care they provide. You also can call the Arizona Caregiver Resource Line to talk to a trained volunteer, who can provide information about available services, counseling, respite care and other programs, at 1-888-737-7494. You may also reach out to the Caregiver Action Network Resource Line at 1-855-227-3640.
  4. Medicare Assistance – DES houses the State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) and Senior Medicare Patrol (SMP). SHIP is a free health benefits counseling service available to all Medicare beneficiaries aimed at educating and helping those eligible for this healthcare plan and their caregivers. SMP’s mission is to guide and empower Medicare beneficiaries, as well as their family members and caregivers to prevent, detect and report healthcare fraud, abuse and errors through counseling and education. You can call the confidential SHIP Assistance Helpline at 1-800-432-4040.
Seven Signs Elderly Parents Need More Support at Home (2024)

FAQs

How to know when elderly parents need help? ›

Seven Signs Elderly Parents Need More Support at Home
  1. Changes in the Home Environment. Is their home in disarray, messier and/or more cluttered than normal? ...
  2. Weight loss or gain. ...
  3. Medication Misuse. ...
  4. Unpaid bills. ...
  5. Changes in Mood. ...
  6. Physical Frailty. ...
  7. Possible Abuse.
Dec 22, 2021

When to step in with elderly parents? ›

What To Look For
  1. Falls, accidents and bruises.
  2. Difficulty getting up from a seated position or with walking, balance and mobility.
  3. A decline in housekeeping and house maintenance (dishes piled in the sink, dirty floors, broken railings, drippy faucets, dirty walls, etc.)

Is it my responsibility to take care of my mother? ›

In the United States, each state has its laws requiring children to take care of their elderly parents. In 30 states, an adult is liable for their old parents' care after they are unable to care for themselves. However, the statute establishing this filial obligation has never been implemented in 11 of these states.

How to deal with needy elderly parents? ›

You must set firm boundaries and require that the senior respect them or else there will be consequences. If an elder is particularly devious and self-absorbed, learning to detach with love will enable you set and maintain these boundaries without feeling guilty.

How can you tell when an elderly person is declining? ›

Unopened mail, papers pilling up, unpaid bills, phone calls not returned, low food supply, unkempt home interior and/or exterior, laundry piling up, spilling and dropping things (check carpet for stains) and keeping curtains drawn, all signal signs of decline.

How do you know when an elderly person is giving up? ›

End-of-life symptoms
  • Appetite and digestive changes. As one nears the end of life, metabolism and digestion gradually slow down. ...
  • Sleeping more. Generalized weakness and fatigue are common. ...
  • Withdrawal from the world. ...
  • Anxiety and depression. ...
  • Urinary and bladder incontinence. ...
  • Changing vital signs. ...
  • Confusion. ...
  • Sensory changes.

At what age do most seniors need care? ›

Average Age for Assisted Living

Seniors over 70 who need assistance with two or more daily activities qualify for assisted living. Here is a breakdown of the average age of seniors in assisted living according to a Consumers Affairs report in 2021: The average age of seniors in assisted living is around 84 years of age.

When should elderly not be left alone? ›

When should elderly stop living alone? If your elderly loved one is no longer able to take care of their basic needs or has experienced mental, emotional, or cognitive decline, they should move into an assisted living facility.

Is it normal to resent caring for elderly parents? ›

Caring for aging parents can be a deeply rewarding yet emotionally challenging experience. As the roles reverse, and you find yourself in the position of caregiver, it's common to grapple with complex emotions, such as guilt and resentment.

Are you financially responsible for your elderly parents? ›

Filial responsibility laws, also known as filial support laws, are legal statutes that require adult children to financially support their parents if they are unable to do so themselves. In California, these laws are outlined in Family Code Section 4400.

What states legally require you to care for elderly parents? ›

The 30 states that have filial responsibility laws are as follows: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South ...

Should I give up my life to care for an elderly parent? ›

Caring for adult parents doesn't necessarily mean giving up your life to care for elderly parents. It can seem like you need to spend all your time focused on caregiving, but that's not true. As a caregiver, it's essential that you practice self-care. You can start by identifying and managing stress.

Why is my elderly mother so demanding? ›

“The first thought many people have is that difficult behavior is due to dementia, but it may also be the result of a mental health problem or their anxiety and depression over the difficulties they are having in managing everyday life. Knowing the likely cause may lead to a treatment that helps.”

What is burnout from caring for elderly parents? ›

Common signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout

You have much less energy than you once had. It seems like you catch every cold or bout of flu that's going around. You're constantly exhausted, even after sleeping or taking a break. You neglect your own needs, either because you're too busy or you don't care anymore.

Why does my elderly mother talk so much? ›

Talking incessantly can result from any number of causes, from mental health conditions to cognitive impairment. Seniors often repeat stories or jokes and caregivers usually humor them. But when older adults talk excessively, it may be due to Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia.

How do you tell a parent they need a caregiver? ›

The talk with your elderly parent about hiring a home care professional can be uncomfortable. Parents may not realize they need assistance. Or they may perceive home care as a threat to their independence. The simplest way to address the situation is to acknowledge his or her concern and provide reassurance.

How do you tell an old person they need help? ›

Some issues have a simple fix, like needing a new glasses prescription. But other times, you may need to provide more support. Your first step may be to talk to the older person about your concerns. Mention your worry without sounding critical, such as, “Mom, it looks like you don't have much food in the house.

When elderly parents can't take care of themselves? ›

For these seniors, in home care services, such as help from a personal care aide or home health aide, may be the right choice. Other seniors may prefer assisted living facilities or nursing homes. If your parents want to remain in their home, evaluate local licensed home care agencies.

How do you know if an elderly person can't live alone? ›

Changes in hygiene and appearance, memory lapses, reduced mobility, lack of housekeeping and yard work, unopened mail and unpaid bills, withdrawal from friends and activities, and mood swings are all warning signs that an elderly person may no longer be able to live alone.

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