"The woman answered him, 'I have no husband.' Jesus said to her, 'You are right in saying 'I have no husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true!'" (John 4:17-18).
Question:
I am very concerned about God not wanting me to have sex unless I am married to the person.
Comment:
The passage you cite is from the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. The point of the story is not that Jesus accuses her and judges her for having had five husbands and now, apparently, living with someone who is not her husband. The point is that Jesus knows all that about her—knows that her human choices have not always been perfect—and absolutely does not judge her at all. In fact, he gives her one of his most important teachings: "God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 4:24). What he sees in this Samaritan woman is not a sinner, but the Christ. He realizes that she is spiritually starved, living under limitations imposed by religious authorities. She is told that God can only be worshipped at the Temple in Jerusalem. And she is told that, as a Samaritan (and a woman to boot!) she is forbidden from entering that Temple. Jesus frees her from those limitations. God is spirit, so God cannot be limited within a Temple. God is everywhere, and what is needed to worship is simply a spiritual awareness of God's Presence, and the energy of truth that allows that Presence to flow freely. We are told (4:39) that many Samaritans came to believe in the ministry of Jesus through the witness of the Samaritan woman. She was one of the first true disciples—carrying the message so that others would believe, rather than just following along after Jesus and hearing his words. We're not told whether her living situation changed or not—Jesus did not demand that she leave the man with whom she was living before he would empower her with the truth. He knew that if her life were aligned with the Presence of God as Spirit, then her life choices would express that truth.If it is your personal guidance that sex only be expressed through a marriage commitment, I totally support that guidance. But do not make choices based in fear that God—or the Presence of God as Jesus Christ—would ever judge you, or extend you less love, according to the choices you make. God is spirit and truth. If your actions and choices express the truth of your spiritual commitment, then you will be expressing and experiencing divine love and abundance.Blessings!
Rev. Ed