Is the Silent Treatment a Form of Emotional Abuse? (2024)

FAQs

Is the Silent Treatment a Form of Emotional Abuse? ›

Over time, the use of the silent treatment can become emotionally abusive. Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. This method can be used to punish you or make you feel like you did something wrong. Research from 2022 identifies five reasons the silent treatment may be used: To punish you: Punishment may be used to reject, isolate, or correct any behavior that they don't like.

Individuals with abusive tendencies sometimes use the silent treatment as a tool to shame, punish or manipulate. Individuals who don't intend to cause harm sometimes resort to the practice when they're overwhelmed, unable to cope with conflict or struggle to communicate painful feelings.

Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.

Sometimes, it's a trauma response.

Narcissistic silent treatment is a type of narcissistic manipulation and narcissistic abuse. Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment.

Being completely ignored is excruciating. Each of these thoughts show exactly how the silent treatment can work as a gaslighting technique. You are looking at yourself to blame, he is deciding the length of your punishment, and it increases the desire to return to normal.

Communicating after the silent treatment is sensitive ground to cover, so keep it simple and state your boundaries and avoid emotional minefields. Often, the silent treatment is an indication that one or both people need a little bit of space to sort things out.

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

The silent treatment is a form of social ostracization and a common tool used during conflict within many relationship types to inflict pain. It involves refusing to communicate with someone who is willing to communicate.

What is the silent treatment victim mentality? ›

The silent treatment is a withdrawal of communication, attention, and care. It's a form of punishment. And, the person giving the silent treatment is a person who operates out of a victim mindset. A victim mindset believes he (or she) is powerless to change anything.

Being left in silence can be extremely painful, as it involves the loss of connection, love, intimacy, and sometimes even family participation. It can also feel unfair and unkind, leading to anger and further fighting.

In an article titled, The Surprising Truth About the Silent Treatment, Karen Young states, “The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising — literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.”

You use the silent treatment. “manipulative” behavior. “[It's designed to] punish someone who's not behaving the way they want them to,” he declared. “The silent treatment is incredibly immature and it hurts the other person's mental health.”

It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful. 'It's the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship,' says Schrodt.

In fact, beyond being straight-up rude (and annoying and unhelpful), the silent treatment can be a form of manipulation—which makes learning how to deal with it that much more important, according to therapists with expertise in relationships and abuse.

They want you to feel a sense of obligation or sympathy that they think will make them more likely to get what they want. The simplest example of this kind of emotional manipulation is the silent treatment, when someone punishes you by ignoring you.

They use guilt trips or ultimatums

During a disagreement or fight, a manipulative person will make dramatic statements that are meant to put you in a difficult spot. They'll target emotional weaknesses with inflammatory statements in order to elicit an apology. For example: “If you leave me, I don't deserve to live.”