How to Overcome Your Obsession with Helping Others (2024)

How to Overcome Your Obsession with Helping Others (1)

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Summary.

If you have ever wondered whether your genuine enjoyment of helping others teeters on over-indulgence, there a few things you can to do overcome agency addiction, or avoid it altogether. First, ask yourself a few questions: When you’re not helping others, do you feel anxious or aimless? Do you feel defensive or dismissive when you learn that the people you helped have found another’s advice helpful, or that they didn’t consult you on a problem? Do you often imagine helping others with life-changing advice?Answering yes to a few of the above doesn’t necessarily confirm you over-help, but it could indicate that it is something you should watch out for. Next, commit to being an equal partner, and not a savior. A telling sign of over-helping is when you find yourself doing more to help others than they do for themselves. You can also avoid dependency by measuring improvement.The greatness of a coach can be measured by their ability to help someone grow to a point of no longer needing them.

There has arguably never been a better time for employees seeking professional guidance. With the rapid increase of coaches, consultants, and advisors in the workplace, as well as the popular, and growing, trend of “the leader as a coach,” getting access to help (for most) is no longer challenging. Those who work with coaches are often viewed as admirable, and leaders who bear the title themselves do so like a badge of honor — despite the fact that, just a few years ago, even asking for help was considered weak.

How to Overcome Your Obsession with Helping Others (2024)

FAQs

Why am I obsessed with helping others? ›

Mood-boosting chemicals are released in our brain when we give back and help others. It's natural to want to come to the aid of a loved one who is hurting, whether they are struggling with mental health issues, behavioral problems, learning challenges, addictions, or other issues.

Why do I constantly feel the need to help others? ›

Psychologists refer to this particular problem as agency addiction, or The White Knight Syndrome. It is defined as a need to rescue others through helping — with our advice, coaching, or ideas — in order to bolster our feelings of self-importance.

How to overcome an obsession? ›

How to Deal with Obsessive Thoughts: 7 Tips
  1. Acknowledge your thoughts. ...
  2. Recognize the patterns and name them. ...
  3. Accept that it's out of your control, but manageable. ...
  4. Explore meditation and mindfulness benefits. ...
  5. Find ways to distract yourself. ...
  6. Challenge your thinking. ...
  7. Seek Therapy.
Dec 12, 2022

Why do I always want to help others but not myself? ›

You help other people but not yourself because you may be a “rescuer”. We can so much more easily see--or think we see--what someone else needs. The fact that we don't have to feel what they are experiencing is a gift, but it also distances us from their reality. That makes judgment so much simpler for us.

What is it called when you always want to help others? ›

altruistic Add to list Share. /æltruˈɪstɪk/ /ɒltruˈɪstɪk/ Someone who is altruistic always puts others first.

What is the syndrome of helping others? ›

Wanting to help others can be good for your health. But if you feel like you have to do it and put aside your own well-being to do so, it can be problematic. This is known as a messiah complex, savior complex, or white knight syndrome.

What do you call a person who is always ready to help others? ›

Someone who truly lives for nothing other than helping others, regardless of the impact it might have on his or herself, is altruistic. Someone who is willing to periodically help others at their own expense is charitable.

What is it called when you care about others more than yourself? ›

Selfless is the opposite of selfish. If you're selfless, you think less about your self, and more about others — you're generous and kind. Being selfless is similar to being altruistic — another word for giving to others without looking for personal gain.

What is the root cause of obsession? ›

Obsessions typically don't have any single root cause. Instead, they are most likely due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

How to detach from obsessions? ›

How to Step Back
  1. Try a temporary hiatus. Take a day or a week off from engaging with whatever you're obsessed with. ...
  2. Change your setting or routine. ...
  3. Eliminate triggers. ...
  4. Be kind to yourself. ...
  5. Understand what psychological needs the obsession is fulfilling.
Feb 8, 2021

What is the cure for obsession? ›

Obsessive-compulsive disorder treatment may not result in a cure. But it can help bring symptoms under control so that they don't rule your daily life. Depending on how serious your OCD is, you may need long-term, ongoing or more-intensive treatment. The two main treatments for OCD are psychotherapy and medicines.

Why do I always feel the need to help people? ›

The motivation to help others can sometimes be a form of altruism. A person might genuinely want to make sure that other people have the help that they need. In other cases, people-pleasing can be a way to feel validated or liked. By making sure that people are happy, they feel as if they are useful and valued.

Why am I only happy when I help others? ›

Altruistic behaviour releases endorphins in the brain and boosts happiness for us as well as the people we help. Studies have shown that giving money away tends to make people happier than spending it on themselves.

Why do I have such a strong desire to help people? ›

Evolutionary and social psychology describes 'egoism' as a reason for helping others to reduce our own distress on seeing someone else's suffering. 'Altruism' causes our desire to help others with no emotional reward in return.

Why do I like helping other people? ›

It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation

Helping others is thought to be one of the ways that people create, maintain, and strengthen their social connections. For example, volunteering and helping others can help us feel a sense of belonging, make new friends, and connect with our communities.

Why do I get satisfaction from helping others? ›

When we help others, we can experience sensations of satisfaction and happiness and the act of giving releases endorphins in the brain, which are the body's natural “feel-good” chemicals. These endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to the feeling of pleasure that comes from exercise and laughter.

What is compulsive helping? ›

In healthy relationships, helping means mutual care and support. But when helping becomes compulsive, the delicate balance between giving and receiving can shift, with potentially devastating results. Compulsive helping means going beyond reciprocity to help in ways other people don't need or want.

Why do I want to take care of others so much? ›

We feel responsible for other peoples happiness and wellbeing. We have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and feel guilty or selfish when we put ourselves first. Our self-worth is based on our ability to care for others. Taking care of others makes us feel important, valued, loved.

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