How to Heal from the High Emotional Costs of Financial Scams (2024)

There are millions of victims of financial fraud every year – and the problem is getting worse. Yet, because financial fraud normally occurs out of public view, many victims feel isolated and ashamed. The United States Department of Justice estimates that only 15% of victims of financial fraud report the crime because they are embarrassed, feel guilty or think nothing can be done.

It’s typical for victims of financial fraud to experience all these emotions according to Dr. Traci Williams, a board-certified psychologist and certified financial therapist. She adds that victims may also feel angry, violated, anxious, shocked, sad, and hopeless. Moreover, even a small loss can have a profound impact on victims.

“How [financial fraud] impacts you isn’t necessarily tied to how much money is lost,” explains Dr. Williams. Many victims of financial fraud are “tech savvy and very intelligent” so no one is immune.

How to Heal from the High Emotional Costs of Financial Scams (1)

That's true of Karen St. Esprit, a business owner in Pittsburgh whose checking and savings accounts were depleted after someone called claiming to be from her bank. The caller knew details about her financial history, including when she first opened her account, and even played the bank’s signature hold music.

“I felt like someone invaded my privacy,” she says, “How could they possibly have gotten into my [accounts]? I am very computer savvy. I am cautious about passwords and websites…I am embarrassed and hurt that I fell for this.” Karen had a hard time sleeping and didn’t initially share what happened with friends and family.

Although most financial fraud victims feel a range of emotions, the length and intensity of these feelings can vary widely. Some victims of financial fraud are upset for a few days and move on while others may develop full-fledged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Some victims may have an uncomfortable relationship with money for years after experiencing financial fraud.

Dr. Williams says some victims ignore anything having to do with finances to the point that they can’t bring themselves to pay routine bills. Other save obsessively in case they are victimized again or go on spending sprees using the logic that they might as well enjoy themselves before someone steals from them again.

How to Heal from the High Emotional Costs of Financial Scams (2)

No matter how a victim of financial fraud reacts, Dr. Williams suggests the following steps to help people recover and repair their relationship with money.

Be empathetic to yourself: Victims should remind themselves that it's not their fault they were taken advantage of and that they “don’t have control over what criminals do," according to Dr. Williams. She adds that “scammers will probably always be around,” noting that many who commit financial fraud are “charismatic” and skilled at parting victims from their money.

Remind yourself you are not alone: Because victims of financial fraud are reluctant to talk about the crime, it's easy for victims to feel alone. Dr. Williams thinks victims should remind themselves that financial fraud is “significantly underreported” and that they aren't alone. This can help assuage feelings of guilt.

Monitor Accounts: It’s common for victims of financial fraud to lose trust in financial institutions – and themselves. Dr. Williams recommends that victims monitor their accounts regularly for suspicious activity to help rebuild confidence that their finances are secure. Regular monitoring can also ensure swift action if something is amiss, which helps many victims feel in control. However, Dr. Williams cautions that monitoring should not be “obsessive.” Checking accounts multiple times a day is not healthy but checking on finances a couple of times a week can be reassuring and provide a sense of security. Over time, this can help victims regain trust in financial institutions and themselves.

Implement layers of protection: For some victims of financial fraud, adding layers of protection can be reassuring. One step Dr. Williams recommends is putting a credit freeze into effect. This prevents others from opening new accounts in someone’s name without their knowledge. Dr. Williams also advises using two-factor authentication wherever possible. That way, if someone tries to break into an account, they will have to go through multiple sites to gain access, and there is a greater chance a potential victim will be alerted to the attempt before any harm is done.

Learn about techniques to protect yourself: According to Dr. Williams, it's empowering to learn about common scams and how to guard against them. For example, Dr. Williams says that consumers can contact their bank and credit card provider and ask how they communicate suspicious activity. Dr. Williams suggests that if someone reaches out purporting to be a from a financial institution, don’t take the call, respond to a text, or follow a link in an email. Instead, ignore whatever instructions they give for replying and call the financial intuition’s publicly listed number directly. Ask whether they attempted to contact you and if they didn’t, report the incident to the financial intuition’s fraud department. Because criminals can easily make an incoming call or text look like it’s coming from your bank, don’t trust the number that shows up on your screen or hit redial. Learning about other common schemes, and staying abreast of new ones, can help victims of financial fraud regain a sense of control over their finances.

Seek out additional support: It’s perfectly normal for it to take time for victims of financial fraud to recover emotionally, as well as financially. However, some victims experience prolonged distress and have more significant reactions than others. Dr. Williams says it’s time to seek out professional help if feeling of anger, sadness, or guilt last longer than two weeks. She also recommends that victims find help if dealing with the aftermath of financial fraud is impacting their quality of life to the point that they are having trouble sleeping, have thoughts of hurting themselves or someone else, experience anxiety whenever they think about finances, or otherwise experience distress that interferes with their ability to function normally. Financial therapists who are trained to help victims of financial fraud may be particularly helpful. Support groups can also help those who feel isolated or do not want to talk about what happened with friends or family feel less alone, according to Dr. Williams.

For More on Personal Finance Topics

If you have more questions about other personal finance topics that matter to you, visit the Learning Center on TD Bank’s website

We hope you found this helpful. This article is based on information available in February 2023 and is subject to change. It is provided as a convenience and for general information purposes only. Our content is not intended to provide legal, tax, investment, or financial advice or to indicate that a particular TD Bank or third-party product or service is available or right for you.

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How to Heal from the High Emotional Costs of Financial Scams (2024)

FAQs

How to Heal from the High Emotional Costs of Financial Scams? ›

Financial therapists who are trained to help victims of financial fraud may be particularly helpful. Support groups can also help those who feel isolated or do not want to talk about what happened with friends or family feel less alone, according to Dr. Williams.

How do I stop being sad after being scammed? ›

Page 1
  1. Write yourself a forgiveness letter and give yourself the permission and understanding to learn from the past. ...
  2. Forgive Yourself.
  3. Recognizing what you are feeling can help you understand why you are feeling this way. ...
  4. Accept Your Emotions. ...
  5. Many victims of fraud report feeling profound shame and self-blame. ...
  6. Overcoming.

How do I get happy after being scammed? ›

At a Glance

Through self-compassion, patience, inner work exercises, and social support, scam survivors can work through their emotions, rebuild their confidence, and regain control of their lives.

Can you get PTSD from being scammed? ›

Victims are often so ashamed at falling victim that they are unwilling to share their stories with others, leading them to internalize their shame. This increases the negative effect of shame, which can then trigger depression and even Post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.

What are the mental effects of scams? ›

Think Fraud, found that more than half (55%) of people whose mental health was affected said they experienced anxiety, while 48% experienced depression and half said they developed low self-confidence and self-esteem (51%).

Is it possible to recover money after being scammed? ›

If you paid by card or PayPal

If you've paid for something you haven't received, you might be able to get your money back. Your card provider can ask the seller's bank to refund the money. This is known as the 'chargeback scheme'. If you paid by debit card, you can use chargeback however much you paid.

How do I start over after being scammed? ›

What to do in the wake of a scam
  1. Immediately cut off communication with the scammer. ...
  2. Notify your bank and credit card companies. ...
  3. Change your passwords. ...
  4. Document the scam. ...
  5. Report the scam. ...
  6. Protect your credit. ...
  7. Remain vigilant. ...
  8. Share your experience with someone you trust.
Mar 28, 2024

What not to do when you get scammed? ›

STOP CONTACT WITH THE SCAMMER.

Hang up the phone. Do not reply to emails, messages, or letters that the scammer sends. Do not make any more payments to the scammer. Beware of additional scammers who may contact you claiming they can help you get your lost money back.

How to comfort someone who just got scammed? ›

Remind & reassure them that fraudsters are professionals - conning people is what they do, and they're extremely good at it. Your relative is far from alone (look statistics up online if you want to prove it!). If your relative doesn't even realise they've been scammed, or are in denial, then it can be harder for you.

Why am I so easily scammed? ›

Lack of awareness: Scammers employ sophisticated tactics to deceive their victims, and many people are simply unaware of the various scams. A lack of awareness regarding evolving scam techniques, such as those involving cryptocurrencies and blockchain, makes individuals more vulnerable.

What is emotional scamming? ›

Emotional scamming exploits deep-seated human traits such as the need for affection or a trust of authority. Scammers also rely on people failing to take the time to read emails carefully, or to spot small differences, flaws, or changes in – for example – website URLs and the websites themselves.

Can you get PTSD from financial abuse? ›

While financial trauma is not a clinical diagnosis, untreated symptoms can develop into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Recover from Financial Trauma with the Help of a Therapist. Therapy can help you overcome financial trauma.

Who is more prone to getting scammed? ›

35- to 44-year-olds were most likely to be exposed to and lose money from scams. However, median losses were highest for 18- to 24-year-olds at $155 per scam that resulted in a monetary loss.

How to recover emotionally from being scammed? ›

Here are some suggestions:
  1. Accept the emotions. Take another look at that list above. ...
  2. Find your best supportive family members and friends. ...
  3. Self care. ...
  4. Monitor and change your thinking. ...
  5. Ask for help when you need it. ...
  6. Listen and empathize without judgment. ...
  7. Don't say…
  8. Remind them this does not mean they are stupid.

What are the aftermath of scams? ›

Give yourself time to grieve.

It's often about more than the money or possessions. Becoming victim to fraud can affect your confidence and self-esteem. Take time to talk about it with people you trust, and make sure you're getting the support you need.

What is the personality of a scammer? ›

In some cases, they may have a psychiatric condition, like antisocial personality disorder, which is characterized by qualities like impulsivity, aggression, and a lack of empathy, Dr. Plante says. “They're able to see people as objects to use for personal gain,” he says.

How do you react to being scammed? ›

Scammed? Take action
  1. Stop all contact with the scammer. Once you realise you are being scammed, do not continue the conversation. ...
  2. Do not make any more payments. Some scammers target people caught in recent scams. ...
  3. Contact the bank or service you sent money through. ...
  4. Report it.

How do you bounce back from being scammed? ›

Contact the company or bank that issued the credit card or debit card. Tell them it was a fraudulent charge. Ask them to reverse the transaction and give you your money back. Did a scammer make an unauthorized transfer from your bank account?

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