How Are You Feeling? Meaning, Usage, & How to Respond (2024)

Co-authored byLena Dicken, Psy.Dand Bailey Cho

Last Updated: February 26, 2024Fact Checked

Things You Should Know

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1. “How are you feeling?” shows interest in someone’s health or well-being. It's another way to ask someone if they’re okay, and check up on their physical and emotional state.^[1] Most people use this question to express concern for their loved ones, especially if they’re going through a tough or stressful situation. By showing empathy, it may prompt them to open up and talk about their struggles.^[2]

   • If someone isn’t interested in your well-being, they’ll usually ask, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?”^[3] “How are you feeling?” is much more personal, so it’s usually reserved for friends and family members.
   • In the workplace, “How are you feeling?” may be used as a polite and friendly greeting. If someone asks this question, it’s okay to admit you feel slightly stressed or nervous, but avoid explaining your personal problems in detail to be professional.

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1. “How are you feeling today?” is said after someone confirms they’re sick. If someone tells you they’ve been feeling sick or unwell, use “How are you feeling today?” to check up on them in a few days. It’s a thoughtful follow up question to show them you care, and it encourages them to share what they’ve gone through since you last spoke.^[4]

   • In general, “How are you feeling?” is asked when you suspect someone is unwell, while “How are you feeling today?” is used if they confirm they’ve been feeling unwell.
   • “How are you feeling?” prompts a personal conversation with loved ones, but “How are you feeling today?” is often used to greet people in formal and professional settings. The latter is a friendly question to kick off the workday or express concern about a sick colleague or boss.

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   Give a brief reply if you don’t feel comfortable going into detail. If you’re speaking to someone in a formal setting or don’t know them very well, it’s okay to answer this question with a sweet and simple response. The classic “I’m good, thanks” is great to use when you don’t want to open up to the other person, but it still comes off as polite and friendly. Just be sure to thank them to show gratitude for their question and continue the conversation in a positive manner.^[5]

   • “I’m great. Thanks for asking!”
   • “I’m doing well. Thank you for asking.”
   • “Things are good! Thanks for asking.”
   • “I’m fine. Thank you for asking. What about you?”
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   Share some details about your day to initiate a casual conversation. If a friend, colleague, or acquaintance asks you this question, feel free to describe what’s been going on in your life. It’s much more sincere than saying “I’m okay” because it offers insight into your schedule, and it can help you connect with the other person and strengthen your relationship.^[6]

   • “I’m a little stressed about the presentation on Friday, but I’m hanging in there.”
   • “I’m having a wonderful day. I got 9 hours of sleep last night, so I feel very refreshed.”
   • “I’ve seen better days, but I’m looking forward to the weekend. I’m visiting my family in Maine.”
   • “Things have been pretty good lately. I just finished my paper last night, so I don’t have to worry about any assignments until finals week!”
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   Be honest about your emotions if you’re talking to a loved one. If a close friend or family member asks you this question, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and express your feelings. They might have noticed you aren’t acting like your usual self, so they want to make sure everything’s okay. If you’re going through a tough time, be specific about what’s bothering you, and share the timeline of events, who was involved, and any other relevant details.^[7]

   • “I’ve been feeling down since graduation. I have no idea what my next move is, and it’s been really difficult to land a job interview.”
   • “Not going to lie, I’ve had a really rough week. It’s been a struggle to balance my schoolwork and extracurriculars, and I feel like I’m falling behind in both.”
   • “I’m doing way better than the last time we talked. I just got a new job, and I’m about to move across the country—lots of great things are happening!”
   • “I’m still recovering from the hospital, but I feel a lot stronger than before. I am worried about going back to the office, but my boss has been super supportive throughout this experience.”
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   Express that you feel ill if you have any symptoms of being sick. Whether you have a runny nose, fever, sore throat, or cough, be honest about your health if you’re feeling unwell—especially if it’s affecting your productivity in the workplace. Alert your supervisor as soon as possible if you need to take the day off, and avoid a long-winded explanation about your illness or any appointments you may have.

   • “Not so good. I think I might be coming down with something.”
   • “Honestly, I’m not feeling too good, so I might take tomorrow off.”
   • “I’m not feeling great, but I’m visiting my doctor during my lunch break.”
   • “I’ve had a bad headache all morning. But I just took Advil, so I think I’ll be okay soon.”

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   What’s on your mind? If your loved one is acting differently and you’re worried about them, use this question to let them know they’re seen, heard, and valued. For most people, asking if they’re okay and offering a listening ear can make a huge difference, especially since they just want to be understood.^[8]

   • You: “I’ve noticed you aren’t going out as much. How are you, really?”
   • Them: “I’m okay. I just have a lot going on right now, and I don’t have the energy to socialize as much as I used to.”
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   How are you, really? If you want to check in on someone, use open-ended questions to encourage an honest response, and be patient with them if they don’t open up to you right away. Admitting that you’re not okay can be extremely difficult at times, so it might be helpful to ask the other person twice to show you’re genuinely there for them.^[9]

   • You: “How are you, really?”
   • Them: “I’m fine.”
   • You: “Are you sure you’re okay?”
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   How are you managing everything that’s on your plate? If you’re close to the other person, get specific with your questions to encourage them to open up (and ask for help if needed). To prompt a deep conversation, weave in any relevant details they’ve shared with you in the past to show that you’re actively listening to them.^[10]

   • “Exams are coming up soon…Things must be pretty hectic, but how has your week been?”
   • “I noticed you’ve been more anxious than usual. Do you think there’s anything else making you extra stressed and worried?”
   • “I know you only got 4 hours of sleep last night, so you’re probably drained. Are you nervous about the presentation, or is something else bothering you?”

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