In the 21st century, women have the opportunity and the means to further their education and pursue occupations that can provide for their families. Women are no longer expected to merely stay at home and take care of their children; instead, more and more of them are entering the workforce and making important financial contributions to their families.
However, this brings its own set of difficulties for couples. Nowadays, it's not uncommon for wives to bring in as much money as their husbands do. A wife earning more than her husband or being the breadwinner of the household can still create some stress or embarrassment for the partner, especially in Asia, no matter how enlightened we all may be.
Fortunately, here's a plan we've come up with for handling your shared finances that could work if you and your partner are willing to commit to open communication and thoughtful respect.
Don't be afraid to talk about money
Money problems can arise in any household, regardless of who brings in the most. Arguments can arise about money for a variety of reasons, not only the amount of income each partner brings in. These include differing perspectives on what constitutes a necessity as opposed to a luxury, and who should foot the bill for various purchases.
Because of this, it's crucial to have an open conversation about money management early in the marriage, so that your different financial situations don't become a source of dispute later on. Discuss the ways in which you and your partner might combine your incomes to raise a family in comfort while still setting aside money for your individual and collective futures.
For the sake of avoiding simmering discord, it was crucial that you lay all issues on the table and smooth over any perceived unfairness. Attribute the friendly atmosphere you enjoy at home to the fact that everyone is able to feel like they are contributing to the family's success and pleasure.
Set a plan in place for dividing the family's finances.
There is no one "right" way for couples to contribute to the family budget. Before settling on a course of action, you and your spouse should think about your specific relationship dynamics, financial status, and long-term aspirations.
Consider the following choices and their associated advantages and disadvantages to help you settle on the best course of action.
1. Divide all household costs in half:
In a nutshell, couples commit to saving the same amount each month for housing costs. If you choose this option and your monthly expected expenses are $5,600, for example, you might think about contributing $2,800.
Advantages: Since neither spouse is shouldering a disproportionate share of the costs, this arrangement might be seen as "fair" by all parties involved.
Disadvantages: The partner who brings in less money will have much less discretionary income and may start to feel financially strained as a result. Let's say you as a wife earns $5,500 a month as an engineer and your husband earns $3,500 as a freelancer. For comparison's sake, let's say that after expenses you have $2,700 left over from a $5,500 income, whereas your partner has only $1,000 left over from a $3,800 income, which may not be enough to cover his needs.
2. Give a fixed amount each month based on your income
In this scenario, the couple considers their individual contributions to the household income and expenses and allocates those funds accordingly.
Advantages: If both partners are paying their fair share of the bills, this could be a 'fair' way to ignore economic inequality.
Disadvantages: There is a risk that the partner with the greater income will feel resentful about having to contribute more financially. If your joint income changes from month to month, your contributions to household costs may also change.
3. Add up all the money you've made
All profits are shared equally amongst all partners. Neither spouse has any savings and the two of them pool their resources to pay for household and individual costs.
Advantages: This approach has the potential to strengthen the couple's bond by embracing the "what's yours is mine; what's mine is yours" concept in their financial dealings.
Disadvantages: If one partner is a big spender, the other could get resentful of how much money is spent on their personal wants out of the shared pot. The lower-earning partner may feel restricted or guilty about their own expenditures, while the higher-earning partner may feel like the other is living off of them. This can put stress on the bond between you.
4. Only spend money from one source of income
A little variation on the first approach is to have only one couple shoulder all household costs, freeing up the other's earnings for savings and investment. You could, for instance, utilize your pay (which is larger) to cover the bills and put your husband's income toward savings or retirement.
Advantages: Similar to the advantages of the previous approach, this one requires couples to make decisions about spending and investing together. This could lead to a more economical lifestyle and increased savings.
Disadvantages: Both spouses will need to be ready to contribute to the shared fund and accept any limitations that may come with doing so. Both partners need to exercise more restraint with their individual expenditures now that there is only one salary to go around.
You can use your own money to buy things like clothes and housewares for your wife or books and cologne for your husband as well as for other personal expenses and occasional luxuries. Personal insurance and savings plans are two other examples of the sorts of things that people often pay for on their own.
Collaborate, but look out for your own financial goals, too
As more women choose financially stable occupations, it's likely that this trend toward women earning more than their spouses will accelerate. However, not everyone will be open to these kinds of arrangements right first, especially given the stereotype that males are expected to provide financially.
If you and your partner find yourselves in this predicament, we recommend keeping lines of communication open and having a thorough discussion about money. Always keep in mind that you are a unit with the same family goals. Build a solid basis on the shared values of trust, respect, and participation. It's important to take stock of your personal and professional lives on a regular basis and make adjustments as necessary.
Keep your own financial goals in mind
It's common for women to prioritize the needs of others over their own, but it's important for them to remember to take care of themselves financially as well. Try not to make too many sacrifices for the sake of your family if you can help it; after all, you have to provide for yourself and your future as well. The 'Me First' mentality has helped me meet my own financial obligations, and it will also put me in a better position to contribute to the family budget in the future if that becomes necessary.
To guarantee our own security and financial stability in retirement, we must establish clear boundaries regarding our financial obligations to family members. A professional advisor can help you strike that delicate balance and choose what's best for you and your loved ones.
