Demystifying Discord for Parents of Teens - Toledo Parent (2024)

With the chat features of Skype combined with Reddit-like discussion boards, Discord is the social media network that many parents haven’t even heard of.

Launched in 2015 and targeted at gamers, Discord has grown into the premier online location for teens to gather online. With nearly 200 million users worldwide, this free app allows users to communicate via chat, voice, and video. Though the average user is just 16 years old, the platform’s reliance on user-based moderation and minimal parental controls allows a plethora of potential dangers to lurk in the shadows of Discord.

What is the allure of Discord?

Discord is arguably the best communication platform for gamers, but it’s the communities that attract users to it. Whether you’re looking for others with common interests, a place to share memes or just want to hang out with your friends and watch their streams, Discord probably has a place for you. And if it doesn’t, you can create it yourself.

With all of that going on, parents shouldn’t be surprised when their teen asks them if they can get Discord. Besides, their friends are probably already on there.

Is there a dark side to Discord?

Though not a true social media network, Discord meets all the criteria. And with that status comes all the dangers of social media. Except, it’s in real time, it’s interactive and voice and video are just a couple clicks away.

Though many of the popular servers are moderated by other users, your teen is more likely to be in servers created by other teens – or themselves – and are therefore probably not moderated. Meaning that anyone with an invitation to the server could be in there, and whatever they type, or share could be seen.

Due to being in real time, the fear of missing out (FOMO) can become an issue. Conversations on Discord aren’t like other social media platforms where you can simply come back to a post later. Discord is more like the chat rooms of old: constantly moving and scrolling. Catching up can be a time-consuming task that most teens would probably choose to avoid by just staying glued to their screens.

Can teens find a sanctuary within Discord?

Despite all those dangers, Discord can be a wonderful, supportive place. The keys to keeping your teen safe on the platform are trust and open communication, understanding the privacy and security settings available and establishing and enforcing the appropriate boundaries.

Even letting your teen use Discord is a huge display of trust on a parent’s part. It’s important to keep an open line of communication with your teen about who they are talking to and what they are talking about on Discord. Take the time to ask them about their online friends and what conversations they’re having. Additionally, because Discord allows users to change their display name at any time, it’s also not a bad idea to ask them who’s who.

Though Discord’s privacy and security settings leave much to be desired, there are some settings that you may want to consider turning on. Once you get in the app, look for the gear symbol called User Settings. In this menu, you will want to focus on the settings under Privacy & Safety, Friend Requests, and Family Center. Most of these settings include a link to more information about what each does.

It is important to remember that these settings, excluding the family center, can be edited by your teen. So, you should set some ground rules with your teen. It’s also important to understand that even with the Family Center enabled your teen’s messages will stay private. There are bound to be different opinions on this, but it may be a good idea to periodically spot-monitor your teen’s activity on the platform. Check to make sure their settings are still intact and then scroll through a few chats to make sure they are following the guidelines you both agreed on. If they are not, don’t be afraid to remove access to Discord for a set amount of time. You will find that doing so is a highly effective punishment.

Now that you understand more about what Discord is, why your teen wants to use it, what dangers they may face on the platform and how you can keep them safe from those dangers, you can make an informed decision about letting them use the app.

And remember, Discord isn’t just for teenagers. Sometimes the best way to understand what your teens are up to is by joining them!

RELATED:Generative AI and Teens: What Parents Should Know

Demystifying Discord for Parents of Teens - Toledo Parent (2024)

FAQs

Demystifying Discord for Parents of Teens - Toledo Parent? ›

Even letting your teen use Discord is a huge display of trust on a parent's part. It's important to keep an open line of communication with your teen about who they are talking to and what they are talking about on Discord. Take the time to ask them about their online friends and what conversations they're having.

How to discipline a teenager who doesn't care about consequences? ›

So here are 10 strategies you can use instead to handle a difficult teen:
  1. Communicate in an honest and open manner. ...
  2. Be empathetic and understanding. ...
  3. Set clear expectations. ...
  4. Be consistent. ...
  5. Allow natural consequences to take place. ...
  6. Create logical consequences. ...
  7. Provide choices. ...
  8. Provide positive reinforcement.
Jul 22, 2023

What can I do if my 17 year old son is out of control? ›

If you identify red flag behaviors in your teen, consult a doctor, counselor, therapist, or other mental health professional for help finding appropriate treatment. Even when you seek professional help, though, that doesn't mean that your job is done—it's just begun.

What is an out of control behavior for a 16 year old? ›

However, out-of-control teens will often escalate arguments, engage in violence at home or at school, and have issues with law enforcement. Biological changes generally make mood swings a normal behavior for teens. Healthy teens can exhibit irritable behavior and can struggle to manage their emotions.

Is Discord ok for 14 year olds? ›

Common Sense Media also recommends that Discord users be at least 13 due to its open chat. Because it's all user-generated, there's the potential for plenty of inappropriate content, like swearing and graphic language and images (though it's entirely possible to belong to a group that forbids these).

What is the most common result when parents punish rather than discipline? ›

Children who are spanked may suffer long-term consequences, including mental health problems, lower self-esteem, cognitive dysfunction, antisocial behavior, and anxiety. They are also more likely to use spanking and other physical punishment to raise their own children, increasing the risk of abuse.

Where can I send my son who is out of control? ›

Residential treatment centers are the most widely recommended facilities for troubled youth. While their programs can vary, residential treatment centers are typically designed to help youth overcome struggles with mental health and substance abuse.

Can my parents force me to come back home at 17? ›

Your mother and/or your father are legally obligated to provide a home, food, clothing, medical care, and schooling for you until you turn 18. So, although your mother can't incarcerate you inside your home until you turn 18, the law says she must provide care for you until then.

Can my parents kick me out at 17? ›

Parents are responsible for their kids until they reach the age of 18 AND have graduated high school. Until you graduate, your parents may not kick you out.

How to deal with toxic parents as a teenager? ›

How to Deal With Toxic Parents
  1. Common Toxic Traits.
  2. Get Rid of Guilt.
  3. Don't Try to Change Them.
  4. Boundaries Are Key.
  5. No Need to Explain.
  6. Practice Self-Care.
  7. Set Up a Support System.
  8. Change Your Story.
Apr 14, 2023

How do I deal with a disrespectful 16 year old son? ›

Set clear expectations that you have for your son's responsibilities and social skills. List the privileges available to him should he meet your expectations. Let him know that his current behavior is not acceptable and immediate changes are required. Show him the rules, expectations and consequences.

How do you discipline a 16 year old who won't listen? ›

Here are some effective discipline tips for teens and kids:
  1. Let consequences do the talking. ...
  2. Deliver consequences calmly, compassionately and promptly. ...
  3. Don't be afraid to set limits. ...
  4. Choose your battles. ...
  5. Praise good behavior.

Do my parents still have control over me when I'm 16? ›

Put simply, you are supposed to obey your parents for any reasonable requirements that they may have. Your parents are your guardians until you reach the age of majority at 18 and therefore make all of the major decisions for you.

Can I monitor my child's Discord? ›

On your child's account, tap My Family. In the INCOMING PARENT REQUESTS section, tap the check mark. Tap Accept Request. Using the Discord app on your phone, tap the menu icon > user icon > Family Center to view your child's Discord activity.

What do parents need to know about Discord? ›

Potential dangers and how to address them

Some potential dangers include cyberbullying, sharing personal information, and exposure to inappropriate content. Tip: Encourage your child to speak up if they feel uncomfortable about something they see or experience on Discord.

What is the 13 rule on Discord? ›

Age requirements and responsibility of parents and legal guardians. By accessing our services, you confirm that you're at least 13 years old and meet the minimum age required by the laws in your country.

How to motivate a teenager who doesn't care? ›

13 ways to motivate a teenager
  1. Focus on the process more than the outcome. ...
  2. Respect your teenager's autonomy. ...
  3. Promote empathetic communication. ...
  4. Support your teen's interests. ...
  5. Set a good example for your teen. ...
  6. Speak positively to and about your teen. ...
  7. Promote healthy habits. ...
  8. Avoid giving both rewards and punishments.
Feb 22, 2022

How do you discipline a careless child? ›

5 Easy Steps to help Careless Children: No nagging needed!
  1. Identify the cause. Before fixing a problem, you must understand what you are dealing with. ...
  2. Provide a conducive space for learning. ...
  3. Inculcate a sense of responsibility. ...
  4. Assign tasks one after another. ...
  5. Get your child into mental arithmetic.
Aug 18, 2021

How do you discipline a child that won't listen? ›

Here are some tips to discipline preschoolers who don't listen:
  1. Make eye contact. Get on their level and look them in the eye. ...
  2. Never ask something more than twice. ...
  3. Pick your battles. ...
  4. Know your child's triggers. ...
  5. Practice prevention. ...
  6. Be consistent. ...
  7. Don't get emotional. ...
  8. Listen and repeat.

How do you discipline a child without traumatizing them? ›

Providing a logical consequence is often very effective. Always tie the consequence back to the misbehavior. “I would like to be able to take you to the store but remember the last time how you ran around the store and wouldn't listen to me.

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