Introduction
In today's world, many of us find ourselves caught up in the hustle mentality, constantly striving to prove our worth through hard work. Hustle is even worn with a badge of honour. We often equate success with grinding away tirelessly, believing that the more effort we put in, the greater our chances of achieving our goals. We assume an equation of working more = more success. However, there is a crucial distinction between working hard and the hustle. While both can lead to the financial/status version of success, the hustle often results in burnout and frustration, and lower satisfaction, while working hard fosters growth, energy, and a sense of fulfilment. In this article, I’ll delve into the difference, why it’s so hard and the first steps to making the change.
The Hustle: Striving to Prove Our Worth
The hustle mentality is driven by the belief that we need to work hard to prove ourselves. We often find ourselves asking "how" to achieve success, feeling that our current abilities and offerings are not enough. As a result, we push ourselves to the limit, constantly seeking to outwork our self-doubt.
As a new entrepreneur I’ve been there. Looking at every expert online thinking if I just knew what to do, if I just had the perfect messaging THEN I’d be good enough to create a successful business. Do you know the crazy amount of time, energy and work I spent in indecision, taking actions that didn’t feel good but other people were telling me that this is the proven way or taking actions that did feel good and then deleting them at the last minute out of shame of trusting myself?! Let’s be honest on the days when my self doubt is wavering I am still there.
The hustle mentality is draining, leaving us exhausted and unable to enjoy the journey. We become fixated on external validation and fear the consequences of failure. We ‘learn’ from failures by pushing ourselves harder. Unfortunately, even when we do “achieve success”, it most likely doesn’t bring the happiness we anticipated, because the goal posts moved further and it took a huge amount of our personal and emotional wellbeing to get there.
Working Hard: Belief in Already “Good Enough”
On the other hand, working hard is rooted in alignment with our purpose and values. We want to work hard because we are enjoying what we are doing. Hard work has boundaries. When we engage in working hard, we enter a state of flow where we are connected to our "why" and "who." In this state, we make decisions swiftly and intuitively, trusting that our choices are good enough. We look inward for what to do, rather than outward.
It’s those days where you lose all track of time because you are so engrossed in what you are doing and loving it. It’s why you got into what you are doing in the first place, because you want to do it. You are taking action because it’s fun - you want to create, share and add value to the world.
We embrace the process, we enjoy the process. We are taking purposeful action, and we are comfortable that “failures” are met with curiosity rather than judgement, for growth and learning. We don’t need to waste our time and energy in feeling sorry for ourselves and self doubt. We are already enough. Working hard fuels us with energy, it doesn’t require recovery, it feels awesome. We want to do the work because we want to add value and create, rather than prove anything to anyone.
The Struggle: Society's Emphasis on Proof Over Belief
Now this all sounds great and yet for most of us the reality is it feels unrealistic, it doesn’t feel tangible. It requires us to believe in ourself and what we offer as being already good enough, now. However today’s society values “proof” over “belief”, demanding tangible results before acknowledging our worth. We are afraid to “waste time” on something we believe in, if the results aren’t immediate, further proof you are not good enough. But what if you weren’t wasting time, but actually planting seeds that take time to grow, or you were planting seeds that are one tweak away from the best seed you could imagine. And what if you just love planting lots of seeds and seeing what happens.
To create something new and innovative, we must cultivate belief before attaining proof. This shift in mindset necessitates courage and a willingness to challenge societal norms. Many of us are reluctant to undergo this transformation because we fear the feeling of uncertainty and discomfort that comes with it.
As a general rule our human brain is designed to keep us safe. We therefore would much rather stick in the pain we know for the long term, than face the pain of working on ourselves through change and uncertainty, for a potential more incredible future. We accept survival over thriving.
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Choosing to Trust
So if you have reached this point you are potentially at least a little curious on how you could lean into the alternative. One important thing to remember is that beliefs are a choice. We often don’t think they are, we think they are fact, we seek evidence to prove our beliefs and self fulfil.
However we can change them over time, or at the very least widen the lens through repeated action. So even if you don’t yet believe it, that’s ok, take a minute to answer this question;
What action would I take if I knew who I am & what I offer, was already good enough, today?
And how it’s a disservice to not be out there serving the world as exactly who you already are. Tap into your uninhibited creativity and come up with 10 ideas of the action you would take aligned to why you wanted to do what you are doing in the first place.
Pick three and do them. Don’t dwell on them. Don’t question if they are the ‘right’ answer, they are ‘good enough’. Try the action in this way, consistently for an extended period of time. Evaluate objectively. Learn. Repeat.
Conclusion
By acknowledging that our current state is already good enough and taking action aligned with our intuition, we free ourselves from burnout, dissatisfaction, feeling inadequate and always ‘waiting’. This new found freedom empowers us to approach challenges with resilience, innovation, joy and an open mind, enabling so much more than we currently can imagine.
And for those wondering, the above article was created after a period of inertia and deciding what I have to say is already good enough.
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Hi I'm Emma behind Emma Alexandra Coaching. I'm on a mission to empower women to go from being fuelled by validation & fear to being fuelled by their values & strengths. I want more women to unapologetically put themselves first, and step into their potential. It's a disservice to the world for as long as we play small.
And if society isn't set up for our success, let's support each other to create a world that is. Find out more about me and my coaching at www.emmaalexandracoaching.com
