All about Disqualifying the Positive (2024)

Disqualifying the positive is a type of cognitive distortion. It can cause someone to ignore or dismiss their positive attributes, achievements and experiences and focus overwhelmingly on the negative.

Although the majority of people will experience occasional cognitive distortions, regularly engaging in disqualifying the positive can negatively impact many areas of your life, including your mental and emotional well-being and your social relationships.

Disqualifying the positive is a cognitive distortion which involves ignoring, downplaying or dismissing positive attributes, experiences, achievements or compliments. Instead, an individual will attribute these to external factors or consider them to be exceptions, rather than accepting that they are accurate or meaningful.

Often, your brain takes cognitive shortcuts when making sense of what is happening around you. These shortcuts can result in bias or distortions of our thought processes. Many of our thoughts occur automatically. Experiencing strong emotions, both positive and negative, often occurs following automatic thought processes. In many situations, you may not be aware of the initial thought that underpins the emotion. For some people, these thoughts are distorted, biased or unrealistic. These are called cognitive distortions.

Disqualifying the positive is a negative pattern of thinking that can contribute to negative self-perception. Frequently engaging in this practice can result in long-term cognitive distortions, where your thought processes become negatively biased. It can also have a significant impact on someone’s overall well-being.

It occurs when someone ignores, denies, dismisses or disbelieves their positive attributes, experiences and achievements. Disqualifying the positive can result in someone holding negative beliefs even if there is significant evidence to contradict their beliefs. Someone with this cognitive bias will often convince themselves that something positive, or even neutral, is actually negative. They may reject their lived experiences or only focus on specific aspects of a situation that support their narrative.

Disqualifying the positive can manifest in different ways:

• Ignoring or dismissing information or evidence that contradicts their negative thoughts.
• Undermining, dismissing or explaining away positive compliments or feedback.
• Minimising or dismissing your achievements and successes.

• Attributing an achievement to luck.
• Claiming something was easy to explain an achievement.
• Rejecting a positive experience, e.g. by saying it doesn’t count.
• Consistently minimising your own knowledge and skill or the amount of effort you have put into something.
• Rejecting positive feedback or compliments.

Cognitive distortions are highly individualised and can manifest differently in different people. Recognising the signs of disqualifying the positive can be beneficial in helping you overcome these distortions and engage in more positive thought processes.

Signs that you may be disqualifying the positive include:

• Disqualifying your positive attributes.
• Disqualifying your successes.
• Disqualifying positive experiences.
• Disqualifying your personal safety.
• Disqualifying by comparing yourself to others.
• Disqualifying by your own self-expectations.

• You may focus overwhelmingly on the negative, ignoring the positive.
• You feel uncomfortable or like a fraud if someone gives you positive feedback.
• You might feel unsafe or uncomfortable in certain situations.
• You may primarily focus on the bad things that could happen to you.
• You may find it difficult to acknowledge your achievements.
• You discount any positive comments or compliments.
• You may find it difficult to be optimistic about your future.
• You may minimise or downplay your achievements (e.g. by attributing them to luck).
• You may attribute your own success to other people (e.g. by claiming something was a team effort, even though you did all of the work).
• You may use negative language when talking about your experiences or when using your inner voice (thinking about yourself).
• You may view any successes as a one-off.
• You may feel unworthy of your achievements.
• You may set unrealistic standards for yourself and unachievable goals.

There are multiple factors that can cause someone to engage in cognitive distortions and disqualify the positive. These factors can vary from person to person.

Some of these factors can include:

• Anxiety disorders.
• Depression.
• Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
• Low self-esteem.
• Body dysmorphic disorder.
• Psychosis.
• Phobias.
• Social anxiety.

Disqualifying the positive can deny you the opportunity to learn from your experiences, both positive and negative. It can prevent you from having a balanced perspective.

Someone who disqualifies the positive may have particular difficulties in the following areas:

• Recognising skills, strengths and talents.
• Acknowledging their achievements.
• Accepting praise, compliments or positive feedback.

Repeatedly disqualifying the positive can have a negative impact on your mental health. Negative cognitive distortions can cause you to view yourself negatively and anticipating negative outcomes can lead to increased feelings of stress and anxiety. People who disqualify the positive often engage in negative self-talk, for example repeatedly criticising themselves or viewing situations in a negative light. This can affect their self-esteem and self-confidence and cause feelings of worthlessness and feeling like a failure.

Some ways disqualifying the positive can affect your mental health are:

• Increased stress and anxiety.
• Increased likelihood of developing depression.
• Increased likelihood of emotional burnout.
• Increased risk of social anxiety.

• You may feel inadequate or undeserving of your relationships.
• Deflecting compliments and disagreeing with people’s feedback can create tension.
• Consistently focusing on the negative can be frustrating and emotionally draining for other people.
• You may create communication barriers with the people in your life that can be challenging.
• You may experience reduced emotional intimacy.
• Avoidance of affection or close relationships can affect the quality of your relationship.
• Strained social interactions.

Overcoming the cognitive distortion of disqualifying the positive involves challenging negative thoughts and changing your thought process. It involves recognising and accepting positive aspects of your experiences without dismissing them or attributing them to another source. This can be a difficult process, particularly if you have been engaging in these cognitive distortions for a long time.

Some ways you can manage and overcome disqualifying the positive include:

• What evidence is there to support your negative thoughts? What evidence exists to the contrary?
• Imagine the positives you are disqualifying apply to someone else? Would you still disqualify them?
• Is there any chance you are limiting yourself with your beliefs?
• How does disqualifying the positive make you feel? Would accepting the positives feel better?
• What problems do your cognitive distortions cause for you?
• Do your cognitive distortions conflict with your goals?

Get into the habit of recognising your positive attributes and strengths and acknowledging your achievements. As well as recognising the positives, it is important you work on accepting positive experiences when they occur.

Some ways you can do this include:

• Write down your achievements and accomplishments.
• Write down any compliments, praise or positive feedback – even if you don’t believe them.
• Write down your strengths and things you think you’re good at.
• Share these recordings with someone you trust.
• Focus on celebrating your achievements.

Because disqualifying the positive has a bidirectional relationship with mental health, focusing on lifestyle factors that could decrease your feelings of anxiety and stress can help to improve your overall mental health and reduce the occurrence of cognitive distortions.

Some of the lifestyle changes you could make are:

• Implement a successful sleep routine.
• Reduce your daily stress.
• Eat a healthy, balanced diet.
• Implement an exercise routine.
• Avoid caffeine, sugar and other stimulants.
• Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs.
• Stop smoking.

• Deep breathing exercises: Practising deep breathing is an effective way of decreasing stress, managing anxiety and alleviating self-doubt. When you engage in deep breathing exercises, it signals your brain to relax. Regular deep breathing exercises can reduce stress, release bodily tension, and gradually ease your anxiety. If you find yourself engaging in disqualifying the positive thought processes, practise deep breathing to help you manage your negative thoughts and emotions. Consider integrating deep breathing exercises into your day-to-day routine for long-term benefits.
• Meditation: Meditation can help you to regulate your breath in triggering situations and handle your body’s reactions to stress and anxiety. Meditation can also help to move your focus away from any intrusive or negative thoughts. Meditation contributes to both physical and mental relaxation.
• Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you to accept your thoughts and emotions and overcome any anxiety. Through mindfulness, you learn to concentrate on your breath and attention, effectively reducing stress and anxiety. Through mindfulness, you can also practise positive inner dialogue and focus on positive thoughts and emotions.