"Adaptive" vs. "Maladaptive" Coping: An Example from the Life of a Therapist (2024)

Recently, I had a situation where a loved one and I butted heads. Pretty hard. The event wasn’t pretty, and the effects of it are going to have long-term effects on our relationship and how we proceed going forward. As is common for most of us, I have been replaying the scene in my head, and coming up with all the other ways things could have happened.

I should have said this. I should have done that. I should have, I should have...etc.

You get the point. Once I accepted that what has happened has happened, I began to look at why it turned out this way.

Why did I react the way I did? Why did she react the way she did?

That’s when a good, old grad school term smacked me in the face: maladaptive coping skills.

"Adaptive" vs. "Maladaptive" Coping: An Example from the Life of a Therapist (1)

Most of us, if not all, have heard about coping skills: They are what we do to manage our emotions in the moment. Some have developed coping skills that are adaptive and help during stressful times. Perhaps they go to their support system to talk about things. Some people go for a run, do yoga, or exercise to relieve their stress. Other examples of adaptive coping skills are by solving the problem, using humor, taking a break or pausing before reacting, or even just being mindful in the moment. All of these are examples of things we can do that don’t make the event worse. We aren’t harming anyone else, nor ourselves, by using these skills.

However, sometimes we develop maladaptive coping skills. Maladaptive skills are usually counterproductive or cause negative consequences. They often work in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things cause trouble. Some examples of maladaptive coping are: avoiding, drinking, drugs, binging on foods that we find comfort in, impulsive decisions, and in some cases, self-harm.

How often have we heard of someone (maybe ourselves) say, “I've had the sh*ttiest day. I’m going to get totally drunk.” Or perhaps we gobble down that pint of oh-so-delicious ice cream after a fight with someone. Most of these choices we make can help us feel better for a hot second, but not much more than that. After we have a night of binge drinking, we experience the mother of all hangover’s the next day. After we eat that pint of ice cream the guilt may settle in.

So how do you cope when life smacks you in the face? Do you face it head on, or do you avoid having to deal with it? Do you stew a bit and then let it go, or do you ruminate about it? Do you go for a long walk/run, or do you sit in front of the TV and indulge in some comfort food?

Perhaps you do it all. No one is saying there is perfection. Sometimes life calls for a pint of Culver’s Flavor of the Day. And some days it calls for a long walk in the sun. But when you lean towards maladaptive coping more often than not, and there are more and more negative consequences in your life, it may be time to take a moment to notice, reflect, and then move forward.

So, back to my issue… (c’mon, I’m human too, you know!) The person I butted heads with is someone I love. Their choice makes sense if I look at how they have learned to cope with life. They encounter stress, and they choose to drink to not feel (aka “numbing”). And while this caused a negative consequence for not only them, but my relationship with them…I can’t control what they do. All I can control is what I do, and that is what I’m working on now.

My maladaptive coping skill is to avoid. It’s too hard to deal with; it hurts too much. I have very little control of others, therefore I don’t know what to do. And I also enjoy ice cream (have you noticed that theme?). So, my work has been around my avoidance and not eliminating people from my life because I don’t agree with what they do, or have done to me. My adaptive coping skill is to create boundaries that keep me safe, and also maintain that relationship. That relationship may change and will look different, but it will also be more sustainable. As for the ice cream…I’m working on not eating the whole pint...

Take care,

Katy

If you are interested in scheduling an appointment with Katy, you can reach her via email: [email protected]

or call our intake line: 608-709-6972

Don't forget to share, like, love, and tweetIG: @abegglencounselingmadisonTW: @abegglenccllcFB: www.facebook.com/abegglencounseling

[This article does not create a client-counselor relationship. This article is general counseling information and is not to be considered legal or medical advice. Please consult with your mental health professional before you rely on this information.]

#coping #skills #strategies #tools #tips #relationships #communication #mentalhealth #counseling #abegglencounseling #awareness #growth #friendships

"Adaptive" vs. "Maladaptive" Coping: An Example from the Life of a Therapist (2024)

FAQs

"Adaptive" vs. "Maladaptive" Coping: An Example from the Life of a Therapist? ›

Adaptive coping strategies are like the trustworthy companions who guide us through rough waters, making us resilient and strong. In contrast, maladaptive coping strategies are the temptations that lead us down a dark path, offering short-term relief but causing long-term harm.

What are examples of adaptive and maladaptive coping mechanisms? ›

Maladaptive coping strategies reduce the symptoms related to stress for a short time, but have no influence on the thing that is causing the stress, such as drinking, drugs and isolation. Examples of adaptive coping strategies, on the other hand, include sleep, planning, exercise, and talking.

What is an example of adaptive and maladaptive behavior? ›

For example, an avid reader who is losing their eyesight might adapt by learning Braille or buying audiobooks. They find a way to continue enjoying books. Maladaptive behavior would be not acknowledging vision loss or the need for change. It feels out of control and painful to think about, so no action is taken.

Which of the following is an example of maladaptive coping? ›

Examples of maladaptive coping strategies include avoidance behaviors like drinking, emotional numbing, gambling, and social withdrawal. Emotional masking, negative judgments, overcompensation, and relying on the same approach over and over to similar situations are also forms of maladaptive coping.

What is the difference between adaptive and maladaptive personality? ›

A positive adaptive pattern is where an individual adjusts to the situation in a way that results in valued outcomes, such that they are nourished and growing and feel healthy and happy. Maladaptive patterns are the reverse.

What is an example of an adaptive mechanism? ›

Self-adaptive mechanisms, sometimes simply called adaptive mechanisms, in engineering, are underactuated mechanisms that can adapt to their environment. One of the most well-known example of this type of mechanisms are underactuated fingers, grippers, and robotic hands.

What is the difference between adaptive and maladaptive emotions? ›

Suppression, considered a maladaptive emotion regulation strategy, involves inhibiting emotional expression in response to an emotion eliciting event. Emotions are generally functional and adaptive processes that allow individuals to confront multiple challenges in a flexible manner.

What are examples of adaptive behavior in psychology? ›

What is Adaptive Behavior?
  • Conceptual skills: literacy; self-direction; and concepts of number, money, and time.
  • Social skills: interpersonal skills, social responsibility, self-esteem, gullibility, naïveté (i.e., wariness), social problem solving, following rules, obeying laws, and avoiding being victimized.

What are examples of adaptive responses in psychology? ›

A psychological adaptation is most often defined as a proclivity toward a certain behavior or thought pattern. For instance, a fear of snakes might be a psychological adaptation that helped protect people from injury or death as a result of being bitten.

What is maladaptive behavior in psychology today? ›

Maladaptive behaviors are actions or ways of behaving that are unhelpful or counterproductive in achieving our goals or maintaining our well-being. These behaviors often result from maladaptive beliefs and can lead to difficulties in our lives and relationships.

What are maladaptive patterns in counseling? ›

Maladaptive behaviors are actions that prevent people from adapting, adjusting, or participating in different aspects of life. Such actions are intended to help relieve or avoid stress, but they are often disruptive and may contribute to increased distress, discomfort, and anxiety over time.

What is an example of maladaptive to one's self? ›

Maladaptive behaviors are generally those that hinder you from adapting to or coping with situations or stressors in healthy ways. Examples can include self-isolation due to anxiety, sleeping too much due to depression, and lashing out at others when overwhelmed or angry.

What are some adaptive stress responses? ›

Adaptive strategies

Taking breaks, setting boundaries, and practicing mindfulness and meditation can also help reduce stress levels and promote relaxation. Another healthy way to cope with stress is by seeking support from others.

What is the difference between adaptive coping and maladaptive coping? ›

The adaptive strategies factor converged with quality of life and work. It also diverged from phobia, stress, and anxiety. Maladaptive coping strategies converged with phobia, stress, and anxiety and diverged from the quality of work and life.

What is an example of a maladaptive trait? ›

Examples of maladaptive behaviors include: avoiding situations that may be stressful or difficult. hiding feelings rather than asserting individual opinions or emotions.

What is the difference between an adaptive and maladaptive anxiety response? ›

Adaptive behaviors help us respond to changes, challenges, and setbacks in healthy ways. Maladaptive behaviors, conversely, are dysfunctional coping mechanisms we develop to evade and protect ourselves from life's hardships.

What is adaptive and maladaptive defense mechanism? ›

Defense mechanism is adaptive when when you are able to use your cognitive dissonance to handle sudden change (either internal or external ) in a positive way. It becomes maladaptive when it is used wrongly irrespective of the outcome.

What is an example of a maladaptive defense mechanism? ›

For example, a person who holds in their emotions instead of talking to someone or working through them in a healthy way would be using suppression in a maladaptive manner and likely to experience negative consequences.

What is an example of adaptive behavior for stress? ›

Some people go for a run, do yoga, or exercise to relieve their stress. Other examples of adaptive coping skills are by solving the problem, using humor, taking a break or pausing before reacting, or even just being mindful in the moment. All of these are examples of things we can do that don't make the event worse.

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