A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule (2024)

FAQs

A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule? ›

The no-contact rule serves as a vital tool for post-breakup healing by allowing individuals to step back and process their emotions without the interference of ongoing communication. It allows for a shift in perspective, fostering a realistic view of the ex-partner, beyond the romanticized one.

As the phrase implies, the “no contact” rule entail cutting off all communications with your ex following a breakup. This includes not engaging in phone calls, texting, direct messages and “likes” on social media, and in-person meetups. Some even argue that looking at their social media posts is considered off limits.

The no contact rule involves immediately stopping all forms of direct and in-direct communication with a toxic person. It is an effective approach to physically and emotionally distancing yourself from the person to give yourself the space to heal.

Psychology Take #2: Dr.

Instead, she suggests that you shouldn't contact your ex until you've lost all feelings for them, which typically spans around three to six months.

The No Contact rule is where you don't call, text, or communicate with an ex in any way after the breakup. It includes not talking to their friends or family about them or the breakup itself and is often the best way to either gain clarity from the relationship and why you broke up.

1 For an amicable breakup: around 30 days. 2 For a long-term relationship: at least 60 days. 3 If things got ugly at the end: roughly 90 days.

No contact can sometimes make an ex-girlfriend miss you or reconsider the breakup. However, it's not a guaranteed method, and the outcome depends on the individuals involved.

The no-contact rule serves as a vital tool for post-breakup healing by allowing individuals to step back and process their emotions without the interference of ongoing communication. It allows for a shift in perspective, fostering a realistic view of the ex-partner, beyond the romanticized one.

Many view no contact as a form of emotional manipulation or a means to make an ex-partner miss you. However, this perspective misses the true essence of no contact. It is not a tool for influencing another person's feelings or actions.

For the majority of couples, 30 days is sufficient time to acquire perspective. In contrast, if you have been involved in a relationship for a lengthy period of time, it may take longer for you to detox and clear your mind. Some people require a period of 60 days to achieve the clarity they require.

How important is space after a breakup in psychology? ›

Cutting off contact creates space to process your emotions and move forward without being constantly reminded of the past. It helps in establishing healthy boundaries and prevents you from getting stuck in a cycle of emotional attachment or longing for what was.

After weeks of no word, he might begin to panic about losing you. He's been hoping and hoping you'll talk to him, but now he's realizing he'll be a permanent ex if he doesn't do something. He'll reflect deeply and, if he wants you back, make a plan to win you over.

Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. She is likely to experience significant grief during this time of no contact. She will also have countless thoughts wandering through her mind.

Going No Contact “can help you properly acknowledge a loss and mourn it, and eventually create space for something new,” Wade adds. Think of the No Contact Rule as a way to truly experience and transform your grief, rather than distract and soothe by reaching out for post-breakup dopamine hits from your ex.

The no contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.

For those uninitiated, the 30-day no contact rule is generally peddled as a technique involving ignoring your ex for about 30 days to get them to miss you more, and then reaching out with some canned line or message. It's a common hoax dumpees fall for. Same story with 45 or 60-day no contact periods.

You need some time to sort out your emotions so you can think with a clear head. How long do you need? You'll see people say "30 days" or "6 weeks"—the truth is, the process is different for every person and every relationship, but these can serve as guidelines.

Likelihood of Success: Moderate to Low. While no contact can sometimes reignite feelings and lead to reconciliation, it's not guaranteed. Six months is a long period, and either party might move on, find someone else, or simply come to terms with the fact that the relationship wasn't right for them.

Think about how your relationship ended. If you experienced a respectful, mutual parting, talking to your ex may be a healthy choice. If it was a separation due to abuse, unhealthy patterns, or painful emotions, it might not be the best idea to text your ex or contact them in any way.