If you often feel pressure to "spend and lend," such as picking up the tab in social settings or loaning money to a friend or relative, you may benefit by setting some healthy financial boundaries. Establishing limits can empower you to take control of your finances and help put a stop to unnecessary expenses.
When establishing your financial boundaries, you may need to evaluate your relationships with friends, family, coworkers and peers and assert yourself to prevent financial compromises. Learning to say no without guilt can be difficult, but it's a valuable skill to develop to control your money and keep you on the path to achieving your financial goals.
Here are five ways to set healthy financial boundaries to help you get started.
1. Define Your Limits
The best place to begin setting financial limits is to identify the compromising situations where you tend to spend more money than you're comfortable with. Think about some of your past financial decisions and pinpoint the situations when you've overspent due to feelings of guilt, pressure or obligation.
By recognizing these problematic situations, you can establish specific financial boundaries to guide you in the future. For example, if you often pick up the check when dining with friends or family, set a clear boundary by deciding to split the bill or take turns paying. Similarly, if you feel pressure or guilt to donate to every charity you encounter, set a specific amount in your budget for charitable giving and adhere to it by being selective in the causes you support.
2. Prioritize Your Financial Goals
Having a clear understanding of your financial goals is essential for setting effective financial boundaries. By connecting your boundaries to specific financial goals, you'll have the motivation to overcome uncomfortable situations, set necessary financial boundaries and stay on track for money milestones.
Start by listing your short- and long-term goals, like paying off credit card debt or saving for retirement. Then, prioritize these financial goals in order of importance to help determine where to adjust your spending habits to help you achieve them.
It'll be easier to communicate your financial boundaries when they are attached to your goals. For example, if a friend asks you to join them on an expensive vacation, you could set a boundary by explaining that while you'd love to go, you've set a goal of saving for a down payment on a home within 18 months and the trip's expenses exceed your budget. You might suggest getting together closer to home for a less costly outing.
Demonstrating a thoughtful and strategic plan to meet your goals helps instill an understanding of your decisions while preserving healthy relationships with those you care about.
3. Learn to Say No Gracefully
Setting boundaries around money with family, friends and colleagues can be awkward because no one wants to say something that might harm their relationships. As such, it's essential to develop the skill of saying no gracefully. Here are a few ways to say no without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships:
- Show appreciation. Demonstrate that you value your relationship by acknowledging the request and expressing gratitude for being considered.
- Be honest but brief. As mentioned above, decline the request by relating to your specific financial goal and how the request doesn't fit your budget at this time. However, avoid providing lengthy details because doing so often prompts the other person to resolve the situation, which isn't your objective.
- Provide alternatives. Consider suggesting a more budget-friendly option that allows you to participate while still maintaining control over your budget. For example, you might decline an invitation to join friends for an expensive dinner by suggesting you get together for a potluck instead.
4. Reframe the Conversation
Setting your financial boundary may seem like a cold rejection to the other person. While you don't need to go into great detail about your financial goals, sharing your enthusiasm about what you can do with the money after reaching your goal can lead to a more positive outcome.
For example, after declining a request, you might say, "Once I reach my down payment goal, I can finally buy my own home and have a place to raise my family."
When others realize why a goal is important to you, they're more likely to support you and less likely to put you in situations that might compromise your financial ambitions.
5. Have a Plan for Lending Money
Lending money to others can be risky. According to a 2022 CreditCards.com survey, 59% of respondents who lent money experienced negative outcomes, with 42% not receiving repayment and 26% suffering harm to their relationship with the borrower.
Facing potentially negative consequences, it's wise to plan ahead for requests to borrow money. Consider enacting a personal no-loans policy to help maintain your financial boundaries and the well-being of your relationships. When a loved one requests a loan, you can state your personal rule and explain that it's based on your financial priorities and desire to protect your relationships.
Of course, there are times when love precedes all, and compassion is warranted. If you do opt to loan money, follow these guidelines to help protect your finances:
- Lend only what you can afford to lose. If you don't depend on getting the money back, you won't be as upset if it's not repaid.
- Lend only to people you trust. By lending money only to those you are confident will repay you, you can help prevent financial strain and damage to your relationships.
- Draw up a written agreement. Create a contract that states the loan amount, repayment term, any interest or collateral and consequences for late payments or non-payment.
Your Credit Is an Essential Component of Your Financial Foundation
Setting financial boundaries can seem daunting at first, but it's an empowering skill to develop. Having limits helps you follow your budget and achieve your goals. So, instead of thinking about the potential pushback from saying no to unnecessary spending, consider the positive impact of doing so, like paying off high-interest debt or building your emergency fund.
Strong financial habits like following a budget and adhering to money boundaries set your finances on a firm foundation. Maintaining good credit is also crucial for solid financial footing. Get your Experian credit report and credit score for free to see where your credit stands. If necessary, take steps to improve your credit in the event that you need to borrow money in the future.
