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Do you suffer the psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love? If yes, then you need to learn to read the signs on the wall before it affects your emotional state.
At one point in your life, you’ve met or dated someone with whom the connection doesn’t feel right. You thought there was chemistry, but all that was there was a one-sided love.
They are either distracted or emotionally disconnected from you every time you meet. On days when they pay attention to you, it’s only because they want to get something from you.
Often, you know when you are being ignored in a relationship.
Your denial sometimes is to protect your mental health from accepting the hard truth – your potential partner is emotionally disconnected from you. And it’s not because of something you did right or wrong. Your partner just isn’t ready to commit to the relationship.
So, is ignoring a sign of love? What can you do when you are being ignored by someone you love?
In this article, we’ll be exploring all questions about being ignored by someone you love. This includes how to deal with being ignored by someone you love, what psychology says when you are being ignored, and what to do when being ignored. Keep reading to learn more.
Why would someone ignore the person they love
When people talk about being ignored by someone they love, they center the conversation around the person ignoring their partner. These persons are often painted in a bad light. First, it is not morally right to ignore someone you are dating. It shows disrespect and a lack of honor for the person.
Being ignored in a relationship is not uncommon, and it can happen for various reasons. Whether it is due to fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, or a lack of communication skills, there are many reasons why someone might ignore their partner. Below, we discuss some research-backed explanations for this behavior.
1. Fear of rejection
One of the main reasons people ignore those they love is the fear of rejection. Individuals with a high fear of rejection are likely to engage in avoidance behaviors, such as ignoring their partner. This can be due to the belief that by avoiding their partner, they can avoid being hurt by them.
This attitude can also come from attachment styles, with individuals who have an anxious attachment style being more likely to engage in avoidance behaviors.
According to Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, PhD in Psychology, states,
Attachment styles begin in childhood, based on relationships with primary caretakers, most often parents. If a relationship with a parent was hostile, chaotic, or inconsistent, people may have unhealthy attachment styles as adults. This can manifest as avoidance behavior in romantic relationships.
2. Fear of intimacy
Another reason you are being ignored by someone you love is the fear of intimacy. In a 2007 study titled Intimacy and Fear of Intimacy, researchers found that individuals with a high fear of intimacy were likelier to engage in distancing behaviors, such as ignoring their partner.
This is because they may be afraid of being vulnerable, whether they will succeed, be happy, or are doing the right thing while seeking a partner or opening up to their partner. This behavior is often subconscious and can cause significant damage to the relationship.
3. Stress
Stress could be the culprit when your partner ignores you. They may inadvertently ignore you when dealing with high stress levels or feeling overwhelmed. The effects of stress on romantic relationships can be devastating.
When dealing with stress, individuals may become less communicative with their partners and withdraw from them. This attitude can be due to the belief that they can focus on the stressor and alleviate the situation by ignoring their partner.
Dr. Jacobsen states that,
This may be a relatively common behavior, but it’s not a healthy way to cope with stress.
4. Lack of communication skills
Psychology says that being ignored in a relationship could be the result of a lack of communication. Communication is vital in any relationship, and lacking communication skills can lead to individuals ignoring their partners.
An inability to relate with your partner like friends or be vulnerable without holding back can negatively affect a romantic relationship.
Also, poor communication is a significant predictor of relationship distress. When couples struggle to communicate effectively, they may become distant and avoidant, which can lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
5. Past trauma
Is ignoring a sign of love? No, but past trauma can also cause someone to ignore their partner. In a 2017 study published in the National Library of Medicine, researchers found that individuals with a history of trauma may engage in avoidance behaviors, such as ignoring their partner, to protect themselves from further trauma.
This can be due to the notion that they can avoid the potential of experiencing other emotional pain by avoiding their partner.
Watch this video to learn the signs that indicate you have a fear of intimacy:
20 psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love
When someone you love ignores you, it can significantly impact your emotional and psychological well-being. Being ignored by someone you love can trigger various emotions and cause adverse psychological effects.
Below, we will discuss 20 psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love and offer tips on how to deal with this challenging situation.
1. Loneliness
Loneliness is one of the top psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love. It can be a lonely experience when your partner hardly pays attention to you.
Even if friends and family surround you, the absence of the person you love can make you feel isolated and alone.
2. Obsessive thinking
Being ignored can trigger obsessive thinking, where you constantly contemplate the situation and figure out why you are being ignored. This can be exhausting and can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress.
3. Emotional rollercoaster
When someone you love ignores you, it messes up your emotional state. One minute you are angry; the next, you are sad, transferring aggression. Everything becomes annoying, and you can only place why once this person gives you some attention.
4. Lack of self-love
You may think that trying to please someone who ignores you, making them happy, and sticking around them will make them love you. However, prolonged acts like these make you forget yourself.
5. Anxiety
When someone says, “Being ignored triggers me,” most times, they experience anxiety. Being ignored in a relationship can trigger anxiety, mainly if you struggle with abandonment issues. When someone you love ignores you, it can leave you uncertain and unsure of where you stand in the relationship.
6. Depression
One of the psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love is feelings of depression.
We tend to attach our self-worth to our relationships, especially if we love our partner. Unfortunately, when your partner doesn’t reciprocate, you feel unworthy, incomplete, and unloved when ignored.
7. Anger
For some people, anger is their first response when ignored. When someone you love ignores you, it can trigger anger and frustration. This is a natural response, as being ignored can feel like a rejection of our very being or feeling out of the league of another person.
8. Physical effects
Another effect of being ignored is revealed in your physical features. Being ignored can cause changes in the part of the brain responsible for detecting pain – the anterior cingulate cortex.
As a result, you may experience physical symptoms such as headache, dizziness, high blood pressure, headaches, digestive problems, and diabetes.
9. You become a people-pleaser
When your partner ignores you consistently, you are bound to please them in every way possible to see them happy or to make them change towards you. Before you realize it, you start giving others around you the same treatment.
10. Self-doubt
One of the most painful psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love is a lack of belief in yourself. You may begin to question whether you did something wrong or if you are somehow to blame for being ignored.
11. Insecurity
Being ignored can also trigger insecurity, particularly if you struggle with low self-esteem. When someone you love ignores you, it can reinforce negative beliefs about yourself and your worthiness.
12. Powerlessness
If an individual says, “Being ignored triggers me,” they may be referring to their inability to control their situation. Being ignored by someone you love can leave you feeling powerless and helpless.
This is because you cannot control how someone else behaves towards you, even if you desperately want their attention and affection.
13. Confusion
When someone you love ignores you, it can be unclear, particularly if they have not given you a reason for their behavior. This can leave you feeling uncertain and unsure of what to do next. You may also start questioning many things like your own feelings, attitudes, or the relationship.
14. Resentment
When your partner ignores you, it can also lead to feelings of resentment. If you feel like someone constantly ignores you, it can make you feel unappreciated and undervalued. Consequently, you may hate yourself for being in that situation or hate your partner for putting you in the situation.
15. Loss of trust
When someone you love ignores you, it can lead to losing trust in the relationship. You may question whether you can rely on your partner to be there for you when you need them or trust anything they say.
16. Lack of communication
One of the psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love is ineffective communication. It is only natural that partners don’t discuss issues when one person ignores another. That’s because you can’t discuss issues and work through problems together if you aren’t emotionally connected.
17. Thinking ignoring is a sign of love
Some partners sometimes ask, “Is ignoring a sign of love?” Some people may believe ignoring someone is a sign of love, but this is untrue. Ignoring someone you love can indicate emotional immaturity or a lack of communication skills.
18. Impact on self-esteem
Being ignored can have a significant impact on self-esteem. When someone you love ignores you, it can make you feel unworthy and unlovable, damaging your self-esteem and self-confidence. It hurts your relationship, preventing you from staying true to yourself.
19. Emotional pain
Emotional pain is one of the first psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love. It can be emotionally painful, particularly if you have strong feelings for someone ignoring you. It can feel like a physical ache in your chest that is difficult to shake off.
20. Psychological stress
One of the most obvious effects of being ignored by someone you love is the psychological stress you feel.
Being ignored comes with the silent treatment, and you feel sadness and worthlessness when it happens. How can anyone ignore you? You feel out of control and powerless. These things combine to affect how you live.
5 ways to deal with being ignored by someone in a relationship
Being ignored by someone you love can be one of the most painful and frustrating experiences one can go through in a relationship.
Whether it’s a partner, family member, or friend, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and there are ways to cope with it. Here are five ways to deal with being ignored by someone in a relationship:
1. Give them space
What to do when being ignored? Give your partner space. One of the most common reasons someone may ignore you is because they need space.
They could be going through a tough time or need time to themselves. Therefore, respecting their boundaries and giving them the space they need is essential.
If you think that they are emotionally unwell, you can also think about opting for couples counseling.
2. Communicate
How to deal with being ignored by someone you love? Talk. Communication is critical in any relationship, especially when being ignored. It’s essential to communicate your feelings calmly and respectfully.
Avoid using accusatory language or making assumptions about why they’re ignoring you. Instead, express how their behavior is making you feel and ask if there’s anything you can do to help.
3. Take care of yourself
Being ignored can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. It’s important to prioritize self-care and take steps to manage your stress and anxiety.
This could mean practicing mindfulness, meditation, exercising, or going for relationship counseling. Taking care of yourself will benefit your mental health and help you feel more confident and secure in your relationship.
4. Don’t play games
What to do when you are being ignored? Be yourself. Trying to get their attention by playing games or engaging in passive-aggressive behavior can be tempting. However, this will only make the situation worse and create more tension. Instead, focus on being honest and straightforward in your communication.
5. Know when to walk away
How to deal with being ignored by someone you love? Know when to leave the relationship. Recognizing when a relationship is no longer healthy or fulfilling is important.
If you’ve tried communicating, giving them space, and taking care of yourself, but they continue to ignore you, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
FAQ
Is ignoring a sign of love?
No, ignoring is not a sign of love. Ignoring someone can be a sign of many things, but love is not one of them.
Love is about caring, showing concern, and being present for someone, and ignoring someone goes against all of these aspects of love.
How do you respond to being ignored?
Being ignored can be a frustrating and hurtful experience, and it’s crucial to respond healthily. For instance, you start by taking some steps back, communicating, setting boundaries, and considering possible reasons someone ignores you.
Is ignoring someone manipulative?
Ignoring someone can be manipulative if it’s used as a tool to control someone’s behavior or emotions.
It can be a form of emotional abuse that creates anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt in the person being ignored. However, not all instances of ignoring are manipulative.
Key takeaway
One of the common issues in a relationship is the psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love. When someone you love ignores you, it can be a painful and challenging experience.
However, it is vital to remember that there are ways to deal with this situation and improve your relationship, as explored in this article. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and heard.
