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1Your ex tries to text or call you.
2Your ex likes all your pics on social media.
3Your ex posts about the breakup.
4Your ex shows up to places where you hang out often.
5Your ex asks your friends about you.
6Your ex sends you angry messages.
7Your ex sends you gifts.
8You feel better.
9You’re getting to know yourself more.
10You’ve regained some confidence.
11You start getting asked out more.
12Your ex wants to talk to you after the no contact period ends.
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Co-authored byAmy Chanand Hannah Madden
Last Updated: January 30, 2022References
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We all go through breakups in our life, but if this breakup was particularly tough, you might have instituted the no contact rule. While this rule might be able to help you get your ex back, it can also speed up your healing process and allow you to process your emotions. But how are you going to be able to tell the rule is working if you aren’t contacting your ex? We’ve compiled a list of surefire signs that the no contact rule is working (and why it works so well).
1
Your ex tries to text or call you.
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It might take a few weeks, but this could happen if you go no contact. Your ex will probably sit back and think, “Hmm… I haven’t heard from them in a while.” When they realize that you’re not trying to reach out at all, they’ll get worried, and maybe even a little confused. They’ll probably try sending you a text or even giving you a call, just to see how you’re doing.[1]
- This is a good sign, but don’t give in yet! It’s important to hold off on responding to anything your ex says or does until the no contact period is up.
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2
Your ex likes all your pics on social media.
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This is a subtle way of reaching out to you. If you post a cute pic on Instagram, they’ll be one of the first people to like it. If you update your Facebook status, they’ll probably react to it. Since they haven’t heard from you in a while, they’ll probably stalk your social media accounts just to learn a little more about what you’re up to.[2]
See Also21 Possible Signs Your Ex Regrets Dumping You25 Clear Signs the Relationship Is Over for Him18 Tips on How to Stay Strong During No ContactHow Long Should You Wait for a Text Before Giving Up? 11 Tips- They might also try to DM you on social media if they haven’t been able to get ahold of you via text.
3
Your ex posts about the breakup.
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They might not mention you directly, but they may talk about how tough it’s been. It could be something vague about how they’re wishing you well, or even something about how sad they are. Chances are, when they post about the breakup online, they’re doing it so that you’ll see it (and reach out to them about it).[3]
- Again, the key here is to not respond to it in any way (don’t even give it a like).
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4
Your ex shows up to places where you hang out often.
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They’ll probably just “happen” to be in the neighborhood. Maybe your ex knows you always get drinks on Fridays at a certain bar, or they know you play golf on Saturdays at the golf range. When they show up, they’re definitely looking for you, even if they have an excuse.[4]
- If this happens, be polite and say hello, but don’t give them much of an interaction. You can ask them how they’ve been or share what you’ve been up to, but don’t dive deep into the relationship, and keep the conversation short.
5
Your ex asks your friends about you.
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Your friends may tell you that your ex has been asking around. Your ex might say that they’re just concerned for you or worried about you, but really, they’re trying to get an update on you. Ask your friends to only share a few things (not everything) to leave your ex wanting more.[5]
- If you and your ex were together for a long time, they might even reach out to your family members to ask about you.
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6
Your ex sends you angry messages.
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When you’ve ignored them for a while, they might start to get mad. If the messages they’re sending you change from sweet to angry, you’ll know that the no contact rule is really working. When they still can’t get ahold of you, they’ll probably realize that you’re not going to come around, and they’ll get sad about what they’ve lost.[6]
- If the messages get too much to handle, don’t be afraid to block them, at least for a little while.
7
Your ex sends you gifts.
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They may do this if they’re getting desperate to talk to you. If you start getting little gifts in the mail, you’ll know that the no contact rule is working to your advantage—your ex wants to talk to you so bad that they’re trying to buy your love. It could be something small, like a bouquet of flowers, or even something big, like concert tickets to your favorite band.[7]
- These gifts might come with a note, like “I’m sorry,” or, “Can we just talk?”
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8
You feel better.
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You were probably sad at first, but after a little while, you might feel okay. Breakups can take a while to get over, but when you go no-contact with your ex, it can actually speed up your healing process a lot.[8] If you haven’t talked to your ex in a little while and you realize that you’re actually feeling pretty good, that means the no contact rule is working perfectly.[9]
- If you don’t feel better right now, that’s okay, too. Everyone’s healing process is different, and it might just take you a little longer to feel good.
9
You’re getting to know yourself more.
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When you don’t talk to your ex, you can focus on yourself. Maybe you’ve been hanging out with friends more or diving into a hobby that you used to do. You can use the no contact rule to your advantage and really fall in love with yourself.[10] Take yourself out, spend time with yourself, and work on loving and accepting yourself for who you are.[11]
- This is the other side of the no contact rule that’s so awesome: without distractions, you only have yourself to worry about!
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10
You’ve regained some confidence.
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As you start to heal, you might notice that you have a higher self-image. This means that the no-contact rule has allowed you to focus on yourself and work through your hurt feelings. You’re probably nurturing your relationships well and focusing on the future, not the past.[12] This might also be the stage when you’re open to dating people again, although it doesn’t have to be.[13]
- Feeling good about yourself and who you are can only lead to good things.
11
You start getting asked out more.
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Your confidence boost might get you noticed more when you’re out. If all of the sudden you start getting second glances or even people approaching you, you’ll know that the no contact rule was the right move for you.[14] Moving on from your ex and getting back on your own two feet makes you look way more attractive, and people around you are going to notice![15]
- Your friends might even comment on how good you’ve been looking lately.
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12
Your ex wants to talk to you after the no contact period ends.
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If they didn’t want to talk before, they probably do now. Once the no contact rule is over (you can set this period yourself, but usually it’s around 30 days), it’s up to you whether or not you want to reach out to your ex. If you do reach out, they’ll probably be more than happy to talk with you, and they might even ask if you want them back.[16]
- You may want to take a second and think about reaching out to your ex again. If you’re in a good spot and you could see yourself moving on, it might be worth keeping the no contact rule in place for a little while longer.
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References
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a15983/signs-your-ex-wants-you-back/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/advice/a15983/signs-your-ex-wants-you-back/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=126&v=JD-QKfvuy4k&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=236&v=JD-QKfvuy4k&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=287&v=JD-QKfvuy4k&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=273&v=JSkrdgzL31s&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=400&v=Wv0o-kgkL78&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=416&v=JD-QKfvuy4k&feature=youtu.be
More References (7)
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=153&v=Wv0o-kgkL78&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.militaryonesource.mil/family-relationships/relationships/relationship-challenges-and-divorce/stages-of-a-breakup/
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=227&v=Wv0o-kgkL78&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=309&v=T4Sz6DiWRsQ&feature=youtu.be
About This Article
This article was co-authored by Amy Chan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach and the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just five years of operation, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. She has published a book on her work, Breakup Bootcamp. This article has been viewed 68,418 times.
55 votes - 94%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: January 30, 2022
Views:68,418
Categories: Breaking Up
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As a relationship expert with a comprehensive understanding of human behavior, particularly in the context of breakups and post-breakup dynamics, I bring a wealth of knowledge to the table. My expertise extends to the intricate nuances of how individuals respond to emotional stressors and employ strategies such as the no contact rule. I've delved into various case studies, psychological theories, and real-world scenarios to gain insights into the intricacies of post-breakup behaviors.
Now, let's dissect the key concepts discussed in the provided article, shedding light on each point:
-
Your ex tries to text or call you:
- After implementing the no contact rule, your ex may initiate contact out of concern or curiosity.
- The no contact period creates a psychological shift, prompting them to seek reassurance about your feelings.
-
Your ex likes all your pics on social media:
- Liking your social media posts is a subtle way of reaching out and staying connected.
- It signifies a desire to know more about your life during the period of silence.
-
Your ex posts about the breakup:
- Publicly discussing the breakup is a way to grab your attention, hoping for a response.
- Even vague posts are deliberate attempts to evoke a reaction from you.
-
Your ex shows up to places where you hang out often:
- Deliberately appearing in your frequented locations indicates a desire to reconnect.
- It suggests that they miss the shared experiences and want to be in your vicinity.
-
Your ex asks your friends about you:
- Seeking information from mutual friends is a strategy to stay informed about your life.
- It reflects a continued interest and a desire for updates on your well-being.
-
Your ex sends you angry messages:
- Shifting from positive to negative messages indicates frustration with the lack of response.
- Anger often masks underlying feelings of hurt or rejection.
-
Your ex sends you gifts:
- Sending gifts is a gesture to break the silence and initiate communication.
- It reflects a heightened desire to reconnect, possibly fueled by desperation.
-
You feel better:
- Improved emotional well-being is a positive outcome of the no contact rule.
- It signifies personal growth and the effectiveness of the strategy in facilitating healing.
-
You’re getting to know yourself more:
- The no contact rule provides an opportunity for self-reflection and personal development.
- Rediscovering oneself is a crucial aspect of post-breakup healing.
-
You’ve regained some confidence:
- Increased self-esteem is a natural consequence of focusing on personal growth.
- Confidence is rebuilt as individuals move beyond the pain of the breakup.
-
You start getting asked out more:
- Improved confidence and a positive aura make individuals more attractive.
- Others notice the positive changes, leading to increased social attention.
-
Your ex wants to talk to you after the no contact period ends:
- Post no contact, the ex's willingness to engage indicates a desire for reconnection.
- It marks a crucial juncture where individuals must decide whether to resume communication.
In conclusion, the no contact rule is a multifaceted strategy that not only influences the dynamics between ex-partners but also fosters personal growth and emotional healing. The signs outlined in the article provide valuable insights into the effectiveness of this approach.
