In 1993, AT&T had a series of ads called “You Will.” In the ads, AT&T posed the question, “Have you ever?” and followed up that question with a number of scenarios we thought were crazy in 1993. Here are some examples: “Have you ever driven across the country without stopping for directions?” Meanwhile, the ad showed a screen on the center console of the car with voiced navigation. “Have you ever paid a toll without slowing down?” the voiceover says as a car passes through the toll moving fast. “Have you ever sent a fax from the beach?” the voiceover says while the commercial shows a man on a beach writing words on a digital tablet and pressing send. A couple of decades later, we know AT&T was uncannily accurate in its prediction of the future. Getting people to prepare for the future was a great business strategy.
But how about a 20-year plan for your family? Your kids will be grown and gone. You may be a grandparent at that point. You’ll probably be looking back over your life wondering how time flew so fast. You can put yourself in a great position then by implementing the 10 ways to plan for your family 20 years from now and achieve your family goals.
1. Live for today.
This may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s not. Jesus told a great story about a man who spent every waking hour accumulating things for the future and building increasingly bigger sheds to put it all in. Unfortunately, he never got to see 20 years into the future. It’s OK to plan for the future, but don’t miss what is going on now. If we’re careful to live for today, then we’re building a solid foundation for years.
2. Practice balance.
Wisdom is not having to go to the store for milk right before breakfast. Living for today includes appropriate planning for tomorrow. Today balanced with tomorrow, family relationships balanced against making a living. Find that balance because it won’t find you.
3. Spend less than you earn—every month.
This is a simple guideline with complex repercussions. Digging out of debt is like building a wall with dry sand—more than half of each shovel load comes right back down. First, stabilize your spending. Second, pay off the debt. Remember that you will pay more interest on your debt than you can earn from your savings. Get rid of debt; then you can prepare for the future.
4. Invest yourself in your children.
Here’s the math (don’t worry, it’s fairly painless!). Parental neglect to your 5-year-old + a couple of years = 40% of the child’s life. But if you turn things around now, by the time he’s 10, you’ll have been the world’s best dad forever. The more years we let slip away, the deeper in the hole relationships become. It’s like negative interest compounded daily. Simply put, today is the right time to be a great dad. You’ll have that investment 20 years down the road and in spades.
5. Make the tough choices today.
Don’t say “I’ll spend time with my kids next year…” Invest in family time today. Don’t deal with your distant relationship with your wife “once we’ve got the kids settled in school.” Face the music before the damage solidifies. Don’t say that “we’ll take care of us, the budget, or our priorities after the kids go to college.” Bite the bullet now.
6. If you’re married, love your wife eloquently.
Too many parents neglect one another in favor of the kids. Big mistake. Your best gift to your children today is to love their mother. If you’re divorced, handle that one by offering respect and support. No matter how old the kids are today, they’ll be young adults in 20 years. Two decades of love and respect is the best way to prepare for the future.
7. Build memories that will make you smile.
This is a direct offshoot of points one through five above. We may or may not live in this neighborhood, at this income level, or in this physical health in 20 years, but our family will have these memories to last a lifetime.
8. Never give up.
Ordinary families struggle. Struggle is part of life, but you can be no ordinary family too. It’s how we respond to challenges that determines what the family looks like 20 years from now. Like Romans 12:12 encourages us, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” This is teaching our children well.
9. Always believe.
Too many families lose hope when they face tough stuff. But if today we maintain hope—if we choose to believe that one day we’ll look back and marvel at how far we’ve come—we’ll get through what we’re going through with a lot more ease. Believe deliberately, repeatedly, and together.
10. Heal.
People with unhealed wounds end up wounding the people around them. And if those people don’t seek healing either, they wound others, too. If we choose to stay as-is, we make an impact on generations to come—and not the best impact we could have. Everyone has room to grow and reasons to heal. What wound haven’t you tended to yet? Start that today, and the future of your family will get brighter.
Sound off: What do you think is the best way to prepare for the future?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “If you were to make a bucket list of things you’d want to do, what would be on it?”
