10 Things Every Couple Should Discuss About Finances (2024)

One of the biggest challenges that couples face is figuring out their finances; how to make money, how to save money, and how to be generous with our money. Money doesn’t have to be a tense topic with your spouse…with a bit of proactive conversation, you will both be more at ease. Here are 10 important money conversations for couples.

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Important Money Conversations for Couples

This podcast episode is all about how your finances will either unite or divide you in your marriage. We share a bit about how having the right money conversations have given us a stronger foundation for our marriage. We also talk about how when couples ignore money conversations the results can be catastrophic.

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10 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Be Having

1. How much you each earn.

This seems like a simple place to start, but believe it or not, not all couples share their net pay with their spouses. Being open and honest about how much you earn (and depositing your check-in a way you’ve both agreed upon) is the first step to creating trust in one another and your approach to finances.

2. Who is going to oversee your budget?

Once you have a budget up and running, it will need to be maintained regularly. While you both should have a say in how it’s run, only one of you should be “in charge” of keeping it up to date. By one of you taking the reins, there is less room for calculation errors or need for an explanation of the work that you’ve done. This is one money conversation for couples that will save you a lot of headaches in the end!

3. How will you approach bills?

Just like the budget, it’s best when bills are paid by the same person from one month to the next. This allows for patterns in payments to be observed (and whether costs have changed.) It also ensures that no bill is overlooked and that late fees are avoided.

4. What system will you have for personal purchases?

We all have those personal purchases that we make. Maybe it’s that purse that you just couldn’t pass up or that new stereo he’s been thinking about buying. …or maybe you want to buy your spouse a gift. Regardless of the purchase, talk with your spouse about how you’ll buy things for yourself (or for one another). You may choose to open small checking accounts for each of you or to agree to a certain dollar amount each month that you’d like to stay under in personal spending.

5. How will you keep track of your spending?

One essential part of keeping on top of your finances is making sure that you’re tracking your spending habits. Deciding together on how you’re going to do that will make it much easier when it comes time to review the budget. Perhaps you have a commonplace to keep receipts or each have a checkbook that you review each week. Whatever you decide, do it together.

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More Important Money Conversations for Couples

6. What are your priorities when shopping?

Talking about shopping is one of the most important money conversations for couples. Is your focus convenience, saving money or top-quality? Each one comes with a different price tag and if he shops for bargains and she looks for top-quality, it may lead to resentment when it comes time to look at how much has been spent. If you have a smartphone or computer, consider using these 5 apps to save you money on your groceries. Also using printable coupons for shopping can help take some pressure off of the family grocery budget. And if you shop online, make sure you are getting paid cashback to do so. There are many programs that can save you money. Here is our favorite way to save money when doing online shopping.

7. How will you manage the money you save?

Saving money is an important part of planning for your future. Talking about how you’ll manage your savings is important. Will you open a savings account or invest? Are there stock options through your employer? All are important things to consider when looking at how you’ll save your money.

8. Do you see retirement in your future?

Talk about how you’ll plan for retirement and at what age you hope to reach that milestone. Working together to make that a reality (for you both) will help you to feel that you’re playing on the same team. It may be beneficial to make an appointment with a financial professional to help guide you through that conversation.

9. How will you save for big purchases?

There are plenty of big purchases that couples encounter: car, house, college tuition…the list goes on and on. Discussing your approach to those expenses (well in advance) will help you to be prepared when you’re ready to make the purchase.

10. What are your beliefs on money you give the kids?

This is another area that, unless handled in the same way, can lead to resentment. You must discuss how you will give money to the kids. Will you provide an allowance (and, if so, for doing what chores)? Does your teen need to work for spending money, or will you take a different approach? Making sure that you both handle this, in the same way, will provide mixed messages to the kids and will keep you working together efficiently.

What are your best conversation tips for couples when discussing finances? We’d love to hear them!

10 Things Every Couple Should Discuss About Finances (2024)

FAQs

How often should couples talk about finances? ›

Weiss says it's best to make financial discussions a regular part of your relationship routine, at least monthly. This normalizes conversations—rather than arguments—about money. You can use a common monthly billing cycle as the anchor to review your numbers.

Why should couples discuss finances? ›

Both the partners should have a clarity of thought about their financial goals. They need to have a shared set of goals and how to fulfill them. A stable marriage requires careful spending, budgeting, investments, and savings to have a secure future. A couple needs to have an open talk about their long-term goals.

How to do 50/30/20 rule? ›

The 50-30-20 rule recommends putting 50% of your money toward needs, 30% toward wants, and 20% toward savings. The savings category also includes money you will need to realize your future goals.

How does a $500 monthly allowance save our marriage? ›

Once upon a time, such spending was a huge, homewrecker of an issue for us. But in September of 2010, my husband, Chris, and I adopted an allowance system. Ever since, we've granted each other $500 a month to spend however we want, no questions asked. And this is how we're still married.

How should bills be split in a marriage? ›

Splitting shared bills down the middle is one of the easiest approaches to a joint financial life. Each person pays half. This straightforward approach makes budgeting as a couple consistent. Each person pays half the rent, subscriptions or insurance from individual accounts.

Who should pay more in a relationship? ›

It is entirely up to the pair and how they wish to handle money in their relationship. When determining who pays in a partnership, communication is important. Couples must have an open and honest discussion about their financial condition, their desires, and their expectations.

What is financial infidelity in a marriage? ›

Financial infidelity is a term many people are not familiar with, but it can have serious consequences in marriages and relationships. Financial infidelity occurs when one partner hides or misrepresents financial information from the other, such as keeping secret bank accounts or hiding purchases.

How should unmarried couples handle finances? ›

Separate: You may want to keep your income and spending totally separate. Each of you would have your personal account for deposits and withdrawals, as well as your credit card accounts for charging and loans for borrowing. Combine: Both of you would manage all income and spending from a joint account.

At what point in a relationship should you talk about money? ›

“But the earlier couples start talking about money, the better,” he says. “It helps you get to know the person more.” Waiting until you want to start a family or buy a house is probably too late and could result in some surprising realizations about your partner.

How should dating couples split finances? ›

Split bills by income

Consequently, many opt to split bills proportionally according to each person's income. For example, if Person A makes $6,000 per month, and Person B makes $4,000 per month, their total income is $10,000. Person A earns 60% of that, while Person B brings in 40%.

How to discuss finances in a relationship? ›

A few months into a relationship, start talking about your own financial goals — things like retirement plans, home ownership, paying off debt — and ask about theirs. Coambs recommends asking open-ended questions that allow you to talk about your attitudes toward these things rather than specific numbers.

How do most married couples manage finances? ›

Some couples decide to split expenses down the middle, while others may be more comfortable paying proportionately according to what they earn. A shared spreadsheet may be the easiest way to track expenditures, or using a joint credit card may be preferable.

Should relationships be 50/50 financially? ›

'It's almost not fair to split finances 50-50'

For example, one partner may be saddled with student loan or credit card debt while the other partner is not. The latter may have the financial strength to carry rental or mortgage expenses so the other person can focus on paying down their liabilities, said Daigle.

How should money be split in a marriage? ›

Many couples split bills 50/50, especially if they are earning similar salaries. If your incomes are significantly different, however, a more equitable solution might be to split expenses proportionally according to each partner's income.

How should unmarried couples split finances? ›

Separate: You may want to keep your income and spending totally separate. Each of you would have your personal account for deposits and withdrawals, as well as your credit card accounts for charging and loans for borrowing. Combine: Both of you would manage all income and spending from a joint account.

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